What you deserve
by Jane Opries
Summary: She had always loved Erwin and she was aware of Levi's feelings for her. But after loosing her brother, who would be there to comfort her? ErwinxOCxLevi, no longer a one-shot. Rated T for language, subject to change for adult content in late chapters.
1. Goodbye

**My first SnK/Attack on Titan story. One shot and is a LevixOCxErwin. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own SnK/Attack on Titan.**

* * *

"Gaaahhhh!"

Levi turned just in time to see it. Auburn curls in twinned with titan fingers. Her hair had come undone...that idiot.

His eyes widened slightly, though the rest of his face remained stoic as ever. No, she would not die. He had already sacrificed 3 of his subordinates to Erwin's cause. But not her.

He pulled the trigger on his 3dmg, turning his course toward her and that disgusting titan holding her above its mouth. No. Not today. Some day, he knew it would happen. But not like this.

She flailed about, hitting uselessly, but bravely, against the brutes fingers, crying out in pain. It hurt to have her hair pulled, he was sure. The titan wasn't that big, but that is what made it so deadly. It had picked her up off her horse, which didn't even stay for the show.

"You son of a bitch! You let me go! Gahh!" She kicked its nose, hoping that it would have some affect on it. None.

Levi darted behind it, and like usual, he swung his blades effortlessly, hacking off the fingers in her hair. She screamed, sure she was going to fall into the titan's mouth, but she slide off the side of its face, bouncing off its shoulder, and hitting the ground with a loud thud and a crack. No, not a bone. Another body. She looked up to see the fingers and surprisingly chunks of her hair falling to the ground. She heard a gurgling. She looked down to see a comrade underneath her, choking on his own blood.

"Agnes!" She cried out. Her twin brother. She looked over his body. His legs were missing. A hysterical scream caught in her throat as she looked up at him. And she had landed on his chest, crushing his ribs into his lungs. She killed her brother. "Agnes, no! Oh gods, I am sorry! I am sorry!" She rolled him on his side, to push the blood pooling in his mouth cavity out.

A crashing noise caught her attention. She looked to see the titan that had tried to eat her fall to the ground, ruined meat, the captain standing on its back, riding down with it.

"Captain! Help me!" She cried desperately. She couldn't leave Agnes to die. Her eyes were frantic.

She wasn't strong, she knew. She wasn't even a good soldier. Some one was always saving her. Agnes, captain Levi, and when she was alive, Petra. When she had joined the Scouting Corps to be with her brother, she had become friends with the woman and Hange. The men in the squad found her a nuisance. Including the captain, but oddly enough, he was there. He was always there. But when Petra was killing by the Female Titan, she had a hole left in her heart and only Hange took time to understand. She knew it hurt Levi too. He knew that Petra loved him, but never loved her back due to the fact that they could be killed at any time and having a significant other or spouse could distract them. That is what Petra had told her.

"Ingrid." She heard a croak.

She looked down with tears pouring out of her eyes. "Agnes, no. Please, I am sorry." She pathetically whimpered at him.

"Don't be an idiot. I was gonna die any way, you just sped up the process." He chuckled half heartedly. "Ingie, do me a favor, don't die in a titan's mouth, ok? And quit being such a baby. I mean, after all, we graduated with a bunch of knuckle headed titans. When you see Reiner, before you kill him, tell him I said that, 'ight?" He began to cough violently, spitting out ghastly amounts of blood. "And get your hair fixed, you look stupid." He went limp under her hands and she became hysterical.

"No! No! Agnes, you bastard, don't you dare! We promised Avery that we would come back alive when we joined the Survey Corps! You promised!" Fluids rushed from her face as she looked up to the sky, screaming. Agnes...not Agnes, the strong one. The hard headed, yet gentle warrior. Her brother that stayed by her side and the one who sacrificed living with the rest of their brothers inside of the wall to be part of something that he believed bigger than himself. "Why?!"

"Shut up, you will attract more titans here with your obnoxious screaming. Clean up your face, you have snot every where." Levi tossed a cloth at the girl at his feet, who was clutching her brother's cloak, desperate to bring him back.

She ignored the cloth that fell on her hands, sobs choking her. "N-not him. H-h-he w-asn't supposed to be the one that died!" She sobbed into the green cloak attached to the dead body. "I was! I am the weak one! I am the idiot! But not him...why!" She suddenly stood, grabbing Levi's shirt, shaking him. Surprisingly, he let her. She continued. "Why?! Why didn't you just let me die! You let every one else die! Just let it happen already! Why didn't you save him?!"

His face remained in that unmoving mask that angered her so. Every time some one fell, her heart would shatter, but him...he never even said a word. He grabbed her hands and pushed her off, back handing her in the same movement. She was shocked, but the sting brought her back to the situation. Agnes was dead, but she was alive and on the ground in titan territory, screaming as her squad looked on in shock and horror. She could attract more and they too would perish. Eren wasn't there to protect them. They had to get to safety.

"If you are done, get your shit together and let's go." He walked past her, her eyes wide and puffy from the hot tears. "And Ingrid..." He paused to look back for only a second. "Grab his insignia patch to take back to your family, when ever you see them again."

Her eyes fluttered, long lashes damp and heavy. She had to move. It was time to leave Agnes. This is where he would rest. The titans or birds would most likely eat him. But he was right, he would have died no matter if she had fell on him or not.

* * *

Earlier that day...

"You need to pull it back tighter or cut it." Agnes stood in front of her, tall and demanding.

She scowled and pursed her lips. "I don't see why it is a big deal. The other girls wear it in a pony tail."

He scoffed. "And the other girls don't have crazy curls to their ass. Here, let me help." He sighed in defeat. Ingrid would never cut her hair, he knew. And it was because of the commander's comment he was sure.

Ingrid had an infatuation with the commander. Their oldest brother, Avery, had attended the same school where Erwin's father had teached and when he was killed by the military police, their mother had rushed to his mother's side to help. She grew up around them. And she had fallen for the blond.

And that pissed off the other brothers. But not Agnes. No, he knew that the blond would never reciprocate his sister's feelings. But it had changed one day, after they joined the Survey Corps, when the commander made a comment that he had never seen curls that long and not be knarled into knots. In fact, her hair was always the first thing people noticed. It was long, with more of a wave than curl, but men didn't know the difference between waves and curls. It didn't matter to them. But it was a dark auburn color and had a beautiful shine.

If he hadn't had said anything to her...

He pulled the hair into a loose tail, then made a delicate chignon, her hair tucked into a beautiful, yet tactical hairstyle. He had watched their mother do it a thousand times, to be honest.

She reached back and with delicate, but calloused fingers, she touched the strands and smiled gently. "You goof...thank you." Her smile disappeared. "I miss him, you know. Reiner...he was a good friend, despite everything."

Agnes tensed, his darker, straight hair falling over his eyes. Reiner and Berthold. The bastards...or rather...he didn't know any more.

"I know you miss them, too." She sighed. "I think it is natural to."

He looked away, focusing his glare on the floor boards of the empty house they acquired for the time being. They had to leave the walls today, to see if they could get supplies. They couldn't steal from the people who were already starving and killing something would attract attention and also take from the people. It was a dumb and irrational idea, according to Agnes, but he also knew what was right. He would rather die than make others starve for his sake.

"Don't be stupid. I will kill them." He muttered. "Reiner liked Krista or Historia...doesn't matter, but he liked you too, ya know?" He looked at the wall. "I almost killed him for saying it, but then again...it doesn't matter any more."

"Yeah." She closed her eyes.

* * *

Present.

Her hair had come undone when she was riding towards Anges, who had been knocked out of formation. They didn't even go that far, but it was enough. The titan was puny. She should have been able to deal with it.

She let out a shaky sigh, moving her body into the back of the tub. He was the only one...to die.

They had found another home, a fancier one, with a full bathroom and tubs. Yes, two of them, with a removable screen between them, which made it convenient for 2 people to take a bath at a time. The captain was on the other side of the screen. Usually, it was Agnes or another one of the female scout members, but the captain had over heard Jean or Connie making a joke about taking Agnes's place and took it upon himself to make sure there were no 'accidents'. She didn't care any more. No one could see her any way.

"You're ruining my peaceful bath." The monotone voice came from the other side of the screen.

Her lips thinned out when she remembered the red cheek he gave her. Yes, indeed.

When they came back, she let him help her cut the rest of her hair, to even it out. It made it to her shoulders in an even cut. He was the only one anal enough to make it that even.

"I am sorry, _captain_." She brought her knees to her chest.

"The commander sends his regards about Agnes. He put up a good fight. He was a good soldier." Levi put his arms up on the edge and reclined back. It was nice to get the filth off.

"The commander doesn't care about my family. He never did."

Levi opened one eye and looked at the silhouette of the girl on the other side of the screen. He would never admit he peaked when she came in. It was the rule he made after all, to respect each other's boundaries. But he broke his own rule and looked. She was the one he loved after all. He would never say it.

Her skin was normally a beautiful peach shade, littered with freckles, and a couple scars from training. Now what was soft was now calloused, peach turned to a tan, and bright, green eyes turned dull and tired. But for some reason, that made her more beautiful to him. He felt the anger from having to cut her hair to save her life. That was one of his favorite things. The way she sang some times at night to comfort her comrades.

But he would never say it. Never.

"Why do you say that? Aren't you friends or whatever?"

"I thought so, until today. We are disposable. I know that now." She whispered the last part. She didn't want to believe it. She loved the man after all. Her whole life, she had loved him.

He would never love her back, she knew that.

Levi scoffed and looked at his own body. It was true, but it was hard not to justify it. The bigger picture was more important. But the lives that are lost for it...some times, he hated the man too.

"Just shup up, will ya?" He sighed. "You know, it is plain as day that you love him." It was true, every one knew it.

She scoffed. "What does it matter? He will never love me back, he won't even fondly remember me when I am gone." Tears poured down her cheeks. Just like Agnes. He'll send his regards to Avery and the others and that will be the end of it.

"Not the way you want him to, no. More like a sister, I think."

"Fuck you."

He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "I don't care either way."

"Captain, you are the biggest, shittest liar I have ever met. There is a special place in hell for you." She meant it as a joke, but her voice was too hoarse and snippy.

"You don't think I know that?"

"You love me. Every one knows it. That is why Agnes is dead. You didn't even flinch...you let him die." Her voice on the other side of the screen accused him and he didn't deny it. He let Agnes die, true, but yet, he rushed to her aid.

"You are an idiot."

"Jerk."

He closed his eyes and sighed. "Don't ever say it out loud."

She pushed the screen open, revealing her face and wet arm. He frowned. "You know the rules." _Bullshit, you broke them too_.

"Yeah, and I am breaking it. If you can't say it, just show it."

His eyes hardened. That wasn't safe either. "What do you mean?" She wouldn't buy it. She knew he wasn't an idiot.

She took a moment and closed her eyes. "My brother is dead. The man I love will never love me back and my older brother thinks I am the biggest failure. If this is how it is going to be, then why not be miserable with some one else?"

"You mean use me."

"You would be using me too."

True, but at the same time no, it wasn't. He clenched his jaw and turned his face the other way. "Shut the fucking screen."

* * *

They all sat in silence. Armin sat next to her, a grim Sasha on the other side. Jean was arguing with Levi; they never agreed. The orders came in and soon, they were going to try to get Erin and Historia back. And a message for her. A personal one from the commander himself.

She crushed her eyes closed. Of course he would say that. It was more of a letter.

She hadn't really cried like she needed to since they came back and her reserve was starting to fall apart. The past 3 days had been hard on Ingrid. Every one stared at her in pity and Levi had been avoiding her. Hange had brought her a letter and a small package from the commander and it had taken every thing in her body to not cry. She didn't need to be weaker than she already was.

_I am personally sending my regards to you. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. He was a good man. I will take the responsibility of telling your brothers. I need to speak with you. Please, be safe._

The next thing she knew she was holding a small ring in her hand. If she had opened it in front of the others, they would think it a romantic gesture, but she knew what it was. Her mother's.

She refused to wear it on her hand. It would be worn on a chain, close to her heart. He had given it to her because of the amount of robberies that had been accruing inside the walls. Every thing was falling apart.

"Ragard."

The sound of her last name made her come back to the present, realizing that everyone was staring at her. She looked around to see Levi standing at the head of the table.

"Sir?" She responded quickly, embarrassed to have some many eyes on her.

"I said get your ass up, we are going on patrol." He turned and walked toward the door.

"Yes, sir." She quickly stood up and followed him, ignoring the hushed murmurs behind her.

The night air was hot. They didn't even bother with soup tonight. Just bread. But regardless, the house began to swelter with the heat. It wasn't musky out here though and the fresh air was nice.

She refused to wear the long skirts and jackets the other female soldiers took up. She wore a dress, but it was shorter and she was able to wear thin pants underneath that tucked into boots. It was more practical that way and Agnes said that then she would be ready for anything. The only thing she regretted is that the dress's sleeves went 3/4 down her arm and kept the heat on her skin.

She followed Levi into the woods, suddenly spooked by the idea of running into a bear or worse...the central military police. She shook her head and kept pushing forward, her hands tight on her swords. She had never really used them. Once, but she only cut the titan as part of a distraction.

"We stop here."

She frowned and kept her distance. They were far enough from the house, but no one would hear them unless they shouted. "I exist now?"

"You should be glad I didn't give you a shiner for what you said to me. It was irresponsible." He turned towards her and his face hardened.

"To be human?"

His lip raised slightly and he shook his head, closing his eyes. "To ask me to do that to you. If you survive this war, no man would want you because you would be ruined. Also, the commander and I have the same view on relationships. It won't happen."

She slouched slightly and looked away in embarrassment. It was whorish, what she did. But, she wasn't the first woman to offer that to Levi. And if what she had heard was correct, the was the only time he had declined. "I'm sorry. I will stay out of your way."

He sighed. "What a pain." He looked at the trees. "The commander has ordered you to return to your family. You will not be continuing on this mission with us."

She gasped and looked at him in shock. Go home? Why? She refused! "No! I can do this! Give me another chance! I-"

"This is not my decision." He cut her off. "You will leave tomorrow morning. You are lucky and should be grateful. Connie no longer has a family to return to and Mikasa still doesn't have Eren back."

"That's not the point..." She began to tremble. "This isn't fair, I haven't been able to prove myself!"

"And you won't get the chance. Now act like a soldier and accept the fact that you are wanted back at home." He snapped.

She shook her head and hugged herself. _Forget it_. She began to walk off. "I would rather die."

She was suddenly up against the tree, pinned by Levi's close body and the hand next to her head. She closed her eyes and prepared for the hit. She was sure that he was going to punish her for her insolence.

"I don't want to hear you say that. I have risked my ass and men on saving you. But I have no say on whether or not you stay." He told was cold, scolding. "How dare you want to die. How dare you wanting to throw it away! Do you know what you would do?"

"No! What? What would I do? Break Erwin's heart? Make my brother proud? End the pain? What would happen?" She yelled back, defiance filling her heart. How dare he! He knew nothing!

"It's not Erwin's heart you would be breaking."

Her eyes widened at the comment. Not...Erwin's? That's right. Levi was in love with her. The unspoken fact she brought up during the bath 3 days prior. But he had rejected her. Her, the one he wanted. It made no sense. "What do you want from me, captain? If I live to see the end of the war, who do you think I will run to? The commander? He will be too busy keeping face for the public and his new duties. My brother's want to marry me off to some asshole who thinks he is the king himself. No, if I survived, I would follow you."

He hung his head, hands turning into fists. "No, I don't want that."

"You don't want me. You love me, but you don't want me." She said, her eyes filling with tears. "That is worse than what the commander rejecting me. Is it because of him?"

"No."

"Then what?" She pushed on Levi's chest.

He accepted the thrust and stepped back. He knew he was being unfair. It was cruel, really. But what choice did he have? "I want you, every day, every hour, every minute. I _need_ you. But I _can't_." His face twisted, one of the only times had shown an emotion other than hate. "And I am not some one you want. I am a criminal. I kill people, I destroy things. I could never give you what you deserve."

Her eyes widened. _The life I deserve?_ "What do I deserve, captain?"

"Levi."

"L...Levi..."

He crossed his arms, his face returning to the stoic way he always had it in. "That shit all you women want. A husband, a nice home, fancy clothes, children. That stupid, pathetic stuff."

She clenched her fists and glared at him. "For some one who loves me, you know nothing about me."

He looked at her and shrugged. "I have never told you that I love you."

"You've never denied it either." She whispered. She wanted to go back to the house. She wanted to stay. She didn't want...to be alone any more. "I wouldn't make a good wife, I have ruined every fancy dress my mother has bought me, I don't like cleaning large amounts of floors, and...the doctor told me I can't have children."

His eyes snapped to her. "The doctor?"

She looked away, regretting saying it. "He told me that my body can't produce children. I will never get pregnant."

He felt pity, for a moment. That was sad, since most women wanted children. "I see."

"I don't care. Babies are to much of a hassle, ya know. My oldest brother has 3 and he isn't the only one of my brother's who has children. I am fine with just being an aunt. See, you know nothing."

He looked away from her. "We still can't."

She looked at her feet. "This is the last time you might see me. I am gonna go home and get married off, probably beaten for not having children, and have to deal with Erwin's pitiful glances at me. He thinks I am weak, he thinks I am untouchable any way. What's the point? If you really didn't want me, then why did you bring me out here? You are no fear of telling orders in front of the others. You lied again."

She was right. He wouldn't deny it.

"Please...Levi."

He sighed. What was so bad about it any way? She would be gone, useless to another man, and when was he one to pass up getting laid? But, her future was bleak either way.

He returned to slumped form against the tree. She looked up at him and he almost lost his reserve. Her eyes were beautiful and even though most of it was gone, her hair was a sight for sore eyes. The moon only made it more beautiful.

_Mine. You'll never be his._ He crushed his lips to hers, making her gasp at first. She recovered slowly, her arms wrapping under his arms, making her hands able to rest on his shoulders.

He pulled away from her. "I won't do it, that is all I can give you." He went to pull back, but her grip was stronger than he expected. "We need to go."

"Just hold me. That is all I want." She laid her head on his chest. He was smaller than most men, but she was smaller. It was almost funny.

He wrapped his arms around her. _Damn it, I love you. I won't tell you. But I do. _"I'm sorry."

"So am I."

* * *

The morning came to quickly. The other's had been informed that she was leaving last night after the pair had returned from the woods. They could have been out longer, since the were on 'patrol', but Levi didn't want to torture himself any more. The had stood there, under the tree, embracing, exchanging occasional kisses. He couldn't remember how many times he kissed her cheeks, her eyelids, her lips.

He couldn't stop. But he had to. But, when the other's fell asleep, she just called right into his bed and they kissed more. He woke her before dawn so the other's would not find them, but he really didn't care. It didn't matter any more.

Two men had arrived and their resemblance to each other was remarkable. What was even more remarkable, was how much they looked like Agnes, only older. Their faces were stern and they were large in stature. It was her brother's. The two oldest ones, he assumed. He remembered Agnes saying there was 10 children in all. Avery Ragard, being the oldest. Their mother must have been ancient when she had Ingrid and Agnes, because Avery was a middle aged man.

"Ingrid."

She nodded in acknowledgement. "Avery. Sergei."

The other brother nodded, but his expression softened at the sight of his sister. They remained on their horses, a third horse was next to Sergei. Avery spoke. "Some one has asked for your hand. Some one more important than Lord Bigart's son. You are to wed when you come home."

Levi tensed. She was really going to be gone. He would lose her forever. By the way it looked, she felt the same way. "M-married to some one else?"

"It is soon, but Ingrid, I think you will be much happier with this match. We need to get moving, if we are to make it back before nightfall." Sergei looked at the sun, which is making its way over the trees. "Say your good byes."

She turned and instantly Hange had thrown her arms around her. She hugged back.

"You are going to be a beautiful bride, Ingrid! Take care, you lucky girl." Hange patted her cheek.

Armin, Sasha, and Jean offered hugs, while she shook hands and nodded at the others. She didn't want to say good bye.

But Levi stared on. He kept his eyes on her, disbelief on his face. "You are marrying off your sister?" He asked looking at the two brothers.

Sergei looked at Avery, who straightened his back, puffing out his chest. "You wouldn't understand the way the higher classes work. It is necessary to our survival."

Ingrid looked away, avoiding the glances of pity her way. One stare though, made her wish that her brother's had their horses stolen. She looked at Levi, keeping her tears back. She would not cry.

He was the last one of course and she knew that hugging him was not a good idea. But she did it any way.

She didn't want to seem to desperate to hold on to him. He wouldn't return it, she knew. No one could know what had happened last night, but she couldn't leave him like this. This was a final good bye.

"Captain, thank you, for every thing." She said out loud. In his ear she whispered, "I'm sorry. If you survive Erwin's war...find me. Please, find me." She let go abruptly and mounted the horse her brothers had brought her. She nodded to her squad one last time, sending a sad glance at Levi.

_Good bye...I love you._

* * *

She traveled quietly and gave short answers to Sergei when he asked her questions about her squad or how life on the run was. They had known that Levi was a wanted man, but their loyalty to Erwin was stronger than their desire to collect bounty money. Levi would be unharmed.

Levi...

How could she had left like that? He would have made her go any way. It was safer and she would never again have to worry when her time to die was going to come or what companion she would watch die on a mission that was sorely miscalculated.

The nightmare for her, would be over. But another one was going to begin.

Her home looked the same, her bedroom untouched. Her family greeted her and even with her heavy heart, she was happy to see them. Her nieces and nephews crowded her, asking her about titans and how many she had killed. Her other brothers teased her for cutting her hair and becoming calloused. A lady has no need for callouses.

She had come from a privileged home, but that did not mean she like having servants and attending parties and wearing fancy clothes. All she wanted was a place to sleep and food in her belly. The money never mattered to her.

"Go clean up, your fiancé will be here soon." Avery spoke out into the children's chatter and everyone went silent. His daughter, Emilia, grabbed Ingrid's hand and tugged slightly. She was only 4 years old, but she was very smart.

"Auntie, will you wear the crown I made you? It will make you happy."

"What makes you think I am unhappy Emilia?" Ingrid asked softly, grasping the young girl's hand. What kind of future did these children have?

"Because you are marrying a stranger." Emilia said bluntly. Ingrid saw Avery open his mouth.

She smiled down at Emilia. "I am happy. This will make our life better. When you are older you will understand. I promise, this is a good thing." _Liar_. She saw Avery's mouth close. Emilia sighed and nodded. "Where is this crown Emilia?"

Avery spoke up, impatient. "In your room, the wedding will be in the morning. Your fiancé wanted to see you before than, despite tradition."

_To hell with traditions_. Ingrid nodded and turned away from the children. Who would want to see their bride before the wedding? It was odd...

Her room was a tad stuffy and she was happy to open a window to let in the air. She saw the carriage down below. He was already here? She rushed over to the dress her brother had laid out for her on her bed and changed quickly. She ran to the mirror to see if her hair was decent and if her face looked clean. Yes, that will do. She sat down on the chair in front of her vanity. _Hange, Jean, Mikasa, Armin...everyone...I am so sorry._ Her lips trembled. She pressed her finger tips into them to stop them from moving. What she had done with those lips was innocent enough, wasn't it? Who cared. Levi was still out there.

Levi.

Agnes.

None of the brothers had said anything about Agnes. Did they even care? Of course not. He didn't matter to any one but her. And Levi. Her captain. Would he find her? Would he make it out a live? What was going to happen?

Some thing caught her eye. She looked up and saw flowers. More correctly, it was a crown, made of flowers. Emilia had given her an actual hand made crown. She smiled sadly. It was a bittersweet moment.

"You cut your hair."

She whipped around and her eyes widened. What was he doing here? "Commander?"

He stood in the door way, his body blocking most of it. The right arm of his jacket hung loose by his side. _That's right_. He closed the door and took a seat on the chair by the window. "Please, Erwin. You are not a soldier any more."

She looked away and closed her eyes. "Yes, I understand." She placed her hands in her lap and sighed. "Come to congratulate me or something or give me the official discharge papers?"

"Levi said you were upset about leaving. Your trip was safe, I presume?" He slipped off his jacket, leaving him in his white shirt. He was getting casual? He usually kept it professional around her.

"Yes." She answered slowly. "I don't mean to be rude, but I have to meet my fiancé. I have to meet him by the stairs." She stood up and smoothed out her dress. She didn't want to leave the room...

"Ah, yes. Well, please, you should sit, this will be quick." He had a sober look on his face. "First, did you get my message?"

She nodded hesitantly. She didn't want to sit. She would go crazy from being still. "Yes, sir. My mother's ring?"

"Ingrid, you don't have to keep up the formalities any more." He said gently. "I am just a man."

"No, you're not. I may no longer be in the Survey Corps, but in my heart you will always be my commander." She said firmly. She believed that, because he could no longer just be Erwin. No, he sacrificed to many people to just be a man. He was a titan.

"Ah, I am sorry to hear that." He crossed his legs. "You know why I sent you that?" He nodded to the chain with her mother's ring on it that hang loosely from her neck.

Her brows furrowed and her fingers found the gold circle. What? "To keep it from bandits. Commander, I really must be g-"

"Remain seated, I am not finished." He said calmly, but his eyes commanded her. She tensed and swallowed. What was going on?

"Yes, sir." She sat down slowly, never taking her nervous eyes off of him. "Please, go on."

"You will not be meeting your fiancé by the stairs. This is not being treated traditionally. You can relax." He smiled gently. It faded into the sober expression again. "Ingrid, you must know that I am deeply sorry for the loss of your brother. Going outside the walls for supplies was risky, but we cannot steal from the mouths of those whom we protect. He died honorably."

She clasped her fingers around the ring more tightly. She looked away, not wanting to meet his gaze. "Yes, he did."

"I guess I should get to the reason I am here." He stood and walked toward her, his face deprived of the emotion he might be feeling. She jumped slightly when he kneeled in front of her. "Do you love me?"

She almost fell off the chair, but she tried to keep calm. What kind of question was that? Was he the only one that didn't know? But Levi...no, not any more. She gave up that dream when she saw Agnes die in her arms. "You are like a brother to me. Of course I love you." She kept her face straight, but inside, her heart was panicking. This was a dream, a terrible dream.

"I see." He bowed his head slightly. "Do you know what I am going to say?"

"Yes." Her voice shook. How could this had happened? Why now? Did he need her for a plan?

"I am secretly paying your brother back for all that he has done for me. Instead of marrying Lord Bigart's son, tomorrow, you will be marrying me."

Rocks piled into her gut. He was just repaying a favor. How nice of him. She began to feel bitter. She began to shake lightly. _Levi, I am scared and for the first time...you aren't here to save me._ "I see."

Erwin's brows rose in surprise. "We thought you would be happy about this arrangement."

She nodded slowly, tears beginning to roll down her face. "Yes, well, things have changed I am afraid."

"Do you hate me because of what happened to Agnes?" He asked gently, his remaining hand grasping one of her smaller ones. She looked at it, as if the picture she was seeing was foreign and happening to some one else.

"I don't hate you, commander. I just...fell in love." She watched as her tears fell onto his hand.

"I am also sorry to hear that, but you know that this must be done, for your protection and for the security of your family." He sighed and let go of her hand. "Ingie, it is alright to hate me, I won't blame you. I know I am a bastard, but please, take comfort in knowing I will never force you to do anything you do not feel comfortable doing. Tomorrow we will be married by law, but we will be a true married man and woman when you feel the time is right."

She should have been comforted by this situation, by his words, but really, she felt as if it would have been better if she had been married off to a stranger instead. She nodded slowly. "I understand."

She heard him sigh. "I am sorry, truly. We were under the impression that I was the one you loved and that you would be much happier off with me, while keeping your family's head out of the water. Ingrid, though my life is dedicated to the cause, that doesn't mean I won't try to make you happy. I am crippled now, I can no longer work in the field. But that doesn't mean that one day I won't come home. But I promise, I will give you the life you deserve."

_I could never give you what you deserve_.

_What do I deserve ,Levi? This? Is this was I deserve? _

"Thank you." But she did not mean the words.

* * *

**Fin. **

** Please tell me what you all think by sending in a lovely review, even if you hate it, I want to hear it. I have decided on doing a couple more chapters. But I have no solid plot as of now.**

**-Jane**


	2. Cold Shoulder

** Thank you for the review. I will warn you if I decide to change the rating.**

**FYI, I may or may not have listened to Ellie Goulding the entire time...ok, I did. But there was some other songs too! Do not judge me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shengeki no Kyojin.**

* * *

It had been months...no, close to a year since she had last seen her squad. And Levi.

He was a wanted man, an outcast. He was used to that. But what worried her was the commander had not received a message from him lately. Eren and Historia had successfully been retrieved and was now on the run with the rest of the Survey Corps. The only way she found that out was when she snuck into the commander's office and read his papers. She wasn't supposed to. Those were highly classified documents, after all.

Ingrid's hair had grown long again, but not as long as it was before. Her skin had lost its callouses. She was a 'lady' once again and she looked pampered and prim. She never went hungry and was never truly alone. Her brothers visited often with their children and often made her leave the house that she shared with Erwin.

Erwin.

The commander had been her husband for a while now and he had kept true to his word: on her own time. Though, they did share a bed. Her nightmares and his understanding of them had made the arrangement seem harmless enough. They never really touched each other. They were barely husband and wife. They didn't even share a kiss on their wedding had tried to touch his hand or rest her head on his chest when they slept, but all she could think about was the betrayal in the blue eyes of the captain. How dare she touch him, how dare she even get close to him.

She stopped touching the commander. He didn't even notice the changes and went on with life.

The wedding happened in a blur, along with the first couple of months of the marriage. First, they 'buried' Agnes, then she went to her new home, which thanks to the gods, was well-built, but not over the top home. Erwin was never for the high living any way. He only did with what was necessary.

Usually her nightmares were about Levi. Levi in a titan's mouth, Levi being crushed under their feet...Levi being killed by the central military police. Firing squad usually. But not tonight. He was hanging. He hung there, mouth open, eyes wide, but nothing reflecting in them. It was horrible.

She sat up quickly, the scream catching in her mouth, sounding like a gasp. Looking around wildly with large, green eyes, she struggled for air and her composure. Levi...

She covered her face with her hands and stifled her sobs. She didn't want to wake the commander and have his questions make her feel even weaker than she was or make her feel ashamed for loving a man who was not her husband. She took deep even breaths and composed herself. Wiping away the tears, she slowly placed her feet on the ground, careful to not move the large man next to her. She didn't need him.

Ingrid felt the goose-flesh take over her body when her feet touched the exceptionally cold floor and bit back a yelp. It may be a modest home, but there was still stone flooring. She reminded herself to put a rug there later.

She knew he was awake before he rolled over to see if she was there. She had already wrapped her house coat around her. It was getting cold and winter was going to make its appearance any day now. She swallowed thickly. She could just hear Jean making a stupid comment and Hange and Armin thinking of ways to survive the winter. Sasha probably ate all the winter stock already. Yeah, Ingrid was sure.

When would this war be over? When would they be able to return to their families and go back to the way it was before the titan's broke through Wall Maria? Never...she thought resentfully.

She found herself in front of the window in Erwin's office. He was getting to careless, there was paperwork all over the desk. The kind that needed to be put into the fire-place. This was how she knew if her squad was still alive. She pushed a couple of them around, smiling when she found a note from Levi, complaining that Eren was about to be stabbed if he didn't stop his whining about having to stay put. The way the writing was clean and the message straight to the point almost made it seem like he was there.

How ironic. She had been so in love with Erwin all her life and she finally had him, but now, all she wanted and an unconventional, rude, and blunt man who was out in the woods, hiding from certain death, with who know how much supplies.

She stopped when she found another note. Her breath hitched and she felt the tears well in her eyes. Levi was hurt...shot in the face. She could see it, Hange trying to mend the wound with minimal medicinal supplies and Levi putting on a brave face, though the pain would be overwhelming.

"I figured you were looking at my papers."

She jumped and remained frozen. Damn, damn, damn. Now he was going to be mad. She looked over her shoulder and saw a disheveled Erwin, bags under his eyes. He must have had a nightmare too. That wasn't uncommon.

"You are getting careless with what you are leaving around, commander. If they had raided the house tonight, they would know where Squad Levi was." She looked back at the papers, setting them down with nimble fingers.

He gave her a half-hearted smile and nodded in agreement. "I apologize. That is careless of me. The issue is that I have not made it through all that paper work. I should hide it."

Almost in a desperate voice she came up with a better idea. "I will help you. I can help, you know. I was much better at this than fighting titans. I can still be useful."

The smile turned sad and his head shook slowly, making her heart drop. "I'm sorry Ingrid. I can't allow you to get involved. For all the central police know is that you are some poor drop out and your family ironically married you off to me." He looked at where his right arm would be and grasped the shoulder. "They think because I am no longer able to fight like I used to, that I am useless. Not all though..."He spaced off into thought. "No, I am sorry, I cannot let you get more involved that you already are, for your safety."

"Because Avery asked you too?" She asked bitterly. He never did things because he wanted to protect the others. It was always because her brother had asked him to be more careful. That way when things turned to shit, she would be spared.

His brows knitted together and he watched her with a blank stare. "You don't think very highly of me do you, Ingrid?"

She had to pause and think about it. No, not entirely. But he wasn't a complete monster. She just knew that everything he did was to cover his ass or to help his 'cause', what ever it was. All she knew is that he was trying to take down the government and name Historia queen, making her a puppet to the Survey Corps and the Garrison Regiment. "I don't think much about you any more." She admitted silently, her heart breaking, even though she had come to this conclusion a long time ago. It hurt to say it. She just missed being a soldier, becoming stronger and not relying on her brothers to survive. She missed the wings of freedom that used to adorn her uniform. Now she had nothing. She was just a civilian.

"That surprisingly makes me sad to hear that. I want you to be happy." He sounded sincere, but she knew that he was good at putting on a face. "Do you still blame me for Agnes's death?"

Actually, that was one thing she had come to terms with. There was no one to blame but the titan that took him down and ate his legs. Even if they were to get out of there with him, he would have never had survived the night. It was a mercy that she broke his ribs, like he said. "No." She shook her head slightly. "I just don't want to live a lie any more."

He approached her, leaving an proper amount of space between them. "As in?"

She closed her eyes and knocked her knuckles on the desk. "This marriage, this façade I have to keep up all the time. It is nothing but lies. I think I would be better if this was all orders and that I knew that I was actually just here to help in the long run, but I just sit here. I think it makes me resent you. I mean, it has almost been a year and I dream that my squad is eaten or they hang in the gallows, all for the sake of your pride."

His only hand reached her cheek and cupped it sternly, but not too hard to make it seem like he was mad. "Ingrid, you are not a pawn. We made you leave because we didn't want that for you. I married you as a favor, yes, but I can't think of a better person to be married too, when I really think about it. You have enough dignity to keep yourself intact, but also enough strength to be vulnerable. You are stronger than you give your self credit for and I don't want you to ever think that you are just a piece in the game. You are more than that." He said in his calm and calculating way.

"I want to believe that more than anything, I really do." She let the tears roll. "But I will never know when you lie to me or when you are telling me the truth. You are cruel, Erwin Smith, you know that?"

He let his hand drop, his eyes never leaving hers. She always knew she could be honest with him, he always knew any way. "The worse thing is that if it wasn't me, it would be some one else."

He had a point. If he wasn't the one trying to lead this rebellion, than it would be some one else and maybe some one who didn't understand strategy and more lives would have been lost. "I'm sorry, I didn't think about that."

"Never apologize to me. By the time this is all over, I will be lucky to be alive and even luckier to keep you next to me. Ingrid, as much as I don't show it, I do love you, just not like you need me to, but there is love there and I will protect you when the time comes. There was a some one I chose titans over once and she isn't here with me any more. I never told any one, but when I dream, I just see her head in the mouth of a titan. Please believe me when I say that it hurts me to see you so miserable."

She teared up and clutched her fist. "I want to see them one more time, just once. I want to know if Jean and Connie are still alive. I want to see Mikasa happy to see Eren and listen to Hange's theories and Armin look at her as if she speaks golden words. I miss them." _I want to kiss Levi one more time and tell him how sorry I am for being weak._

He shook his head and took her hand. "I am sorry my poor wife, but you can't. When it is over, we will have them all here."

He didn't say anything more and left her in silence by his desk. Looking at the documents, she couldn't help but notice that maybe he wanted them to be found, by some one. She silently flipped through them.

They were safe. They were on a farm in between the Yalkell and Wall Rose. She quickly torn the piece of paper up and ran to the fire-place, taking a match and trying to light the shreds. No one could see where he was. She had to protect Levi.

* * *

Avery only visited to harass Erwin. Despite being childhood friends, Erwin had grown distaste for the oldest of the Ragard family. They sat drinking tea, talking about minuet things. Eventually, Avery's face turned into an ugly sneer.

"Erwin, my sister doesn't look like she has been touched. Are you doing your job as her husband?"

Erwin snapped his gaze at Avery, lacing it with menace. "I don't see why that is any of your business any more, Avery. She is your sister, not a whore."

Avery tapped his cigar with his pointer finger. "You are still on about that bullshit? Legally, you two aren't married and if the head of our family finds that out, you will lose her." He chuckled. "You are a man, you should take what you want."

Erwin leaned back and looked the other man with a calculating look. "You are threatening me, in your own way."

Avery shrugged and looked at the blond. "Consider it more of a warning. They want to bring in a physician to look at her, some one tipped them off. If he sees that you two haven't consummated this marriage, it is all over, for both of us. My family will slip more and more into poverty and you will lose your little helper or whatever she is, I do not care. You can't tell me that you ironed that shirt, Erwin, and you have no servants. I know what is going on. Just do me a favor and put her on her back where she belongs."

That statement made Erwin's stomach roll. That was disgusting. The meeting couldn't have ended sooner, as Avery excused himself to attend another meeting about supplies being transported to the Trost district.

Erwin sat there, staring at the ring on his left hand. He loved her, but he could never give her the love and affection that she needed or wanted. It was odd, over night she was in love with him and now, she seemed to look out the window, waiting for some one else to come for her. She was too innocent to throw into this horrible war between humans. Titans she could handle, but these humans and their disgusting wanton to murder just because a man who called himself king told them too. Barbaric.

But there was no way to protect her. No, not true, there was one man he could trust. He could trust him to keep her safe, even if the titans converged on them, he would die protecting her. Levi.

Grabbing a pin and scribbling out a sloppy a message for the captain, he haphazardly folded it and shoved into the hands of the messenger on stand by. This could not wait.

* * *

Levi watched with empty eyes as Armin and Hange laid out strategic plans on how to keep on the down low for at least a month. Moving from house to house was getting out of control and they were leaving bread crumbs where ever they went. It was only a matter of time.

_Find me_.

That shitty brat. She knew he couldn't. He wanted to very badly. For the first time since he had joined the Survey corps, he wanted to leave and fuck it all. But he had a debt to repay and he had to admit. He liked killing. It made his blood rush and the testosterone surge. Being a rouge on the run was something he was used to. As long as there was tea and time to clean this hell hole, it wasn't all that bad.

Mikasa sat across from him, Eren by her side. They were exchanging brother and sisterly advice and it didn't take a genius to see who was the more intelligent out of the two.

He didn't care. Any more, he wish he would just die. He didn't want to be part of this any more and death seemed easy enough. But how? Like hell he would be titan fodder and he didn't want to seem like an idiot by falling out of a tree. People knew his talents and knew it would be on purpose. But Ingrid. _Find me_.

That stupid...he almost though idiot but fond memories of her crawling into his bed to share kisses with him until the sun rose was enough to stop him from calling her idiot. She was to sweet. That would get her killed.

"Captain. A letter arrived from the commander, concerning Ingrid." Hange slipped the paper to him, like it was a secret. All eyes were on him them. Hange's bore into him and he could feel the tension in the air. He scoffed and opened it, his eyes hardening at each word.

_I know she misses you. All she talks about is being back with her squad. I regret to tell you that I am the one who took her hand in marriage. I know how much she meant to you, but rest assured, she is unscathed. Lord Ragard wants us to consummate. I am sending her away. She will find you. Do not let her fight, protect her. We are no longer fighting titans, I am afraid. One of the younger brothers has agreed to help me. Please keep a watch out for her._

She was coming back to him. He was going to see her one more time. Relaxed, he looked up at his squad, a sudden silence hung over them. "Ingie will be returning to us, as a guest, not a soldier. You are to act as if she never left and leave the questions about her marriage alone."

Eren shot up and glared. "Marriage? What the hell is that all about? What do-"

"Eren, I will explain later. Let's just follow the captain's orders in the mean time." Mikasa intersected before the hot head boy could make a scene. Armin put a hand on his arm.

Levi left them at that point. He had too much on his mind and supper no longer seemed to be sitting well with him. She was coming back to him. But, she was a married woman now. He wondered what hell she had faced when she arrived home and if the man she had married treated her well or beat her. She had training to fight back. She was actually not to shabby in hand-to-hand combat, but she wouldn't fight back, that was against her up bringing. That stupid little shit.

He stood outside of their new dwelling. It wasn't clean enough for him and it was cramped. They all had to sleep in a loft above the downstairs area, which was a strange set up as well. They would be leaving soon.

Since she was no long his subordinate, would it be possible to at least let his guard down slightly around her? _Don't be ludicrous, she isn't yours._ Not his. Those were bitter thoughts. He had never though of her any other way but his. The mere thought of another man touching her made him boil and it took a minute to compose himself.

These thoughts tormented him.

* * *

Erwin never let any one see him panicked or even disgusted. Ingrid was shocked by the way he was acting. She sat on the edge of their bed, her night-dress barely covering her. It was the last warm night before the snow fell.

"That bastard told me to rape you. Rape! Can you imagine? And this is what our noble system has turned into. Raping women after selling them to the highest bidder." He paced in front of the fire-place, his mouth covered in horror. "And I paid."

She didn't know the difference really and that was because of was how she was raised. Her brother always blamed the titans for putting them in these walls and that is why they had to breed cautiously to avoid accidental incest. That is why arranged marriages were so important. It was really just a scam for the older nobles to get younger wives and make money. "I don't see why you just don't demand it, commander. You are a man and I am your wife so naturally, it is alright."

"What about the one you love?" Erwin turned toward her with hard eyes. "What would he say to that?"

Her eyes widened slightly, her cheeks reddening. He knew she was in love with some one else? She hung her head slightly and sighed. "Commander...I...he can't be with me no matter if I was married or not. It is just not possible in his position. And he would say that he didn't care."

Erwin closed his eyes and his lips thinned. "I see. That is a shame."

She looked up at him. "What about you? Why do you not want it? It is more honorable than a prostitute or a strange woman from a bar. Are you afraid?"

He sat down next to her, disgust all over his face. "Absurd. You may be my wife by law and I am fond of you, but that is not something that I consider. You are better than that and I would like it if you treated yourself with more respect."

A long silence hung between them. The crackling of the fire reminded Ingrid of when the titans smashed trees under their feet or the crushing of bones. She shook off the latter and looked at her hands. Her mother's ring stared back at her. Most women didn't have rings, due to the economy. But this had been made for her mother by a friend, she had been very fond of it. The band was thin, but twirled into a braid that was sturdy. In the braid, was a small emerald. Ingrid smiled as she remembered the color of her mother's eyes. Emerald. That was probably why the blacksmith chose that jewel.

"We have been married a year." She said quietly. "Happy anniversary." She kept her face stern. No more crying. No more. She was still a soldier.

He looked at her in surprise, staring at her for a few moments while it registered in his mind. "Ah, yes, well, same to you."

She clenched her jaw and stood up quickly. She wanted to leave, wanted to run. A hand on her shoulder stopped her. She looked up to see the commander's honey gaze on her. "I wasn't done Ingrid. I have something to talk to you about. Please, sit, just for a short while."

She wanted to disobey. Maybe Levi had rubbed off on her slightly. She nodded and sat down, not making eye contact with the man.

"I found away to avoid this. It is not right to take another man's woman. I already married you, but still, I cannot take was is the most important thing to a woman, especially when it is not mine to take." He sat down again, the empty sleeve on his right folding behind him.

"That is bullshit, Erwin. I saved it for you all my life until recently and now we are married and it is like I contain a plague." She was losing her temper. "I don't want to fornicate any more than you do, but to keep up this honorable act you have going on is asinine! I know you, Erwin Smith, I know that underneath that mask you are nothing but a mere man. A doer of the necessary evils. This is just like everything else and now you are appalled?" She laughed, almost hysterically. "Do you know how long I loved you without realizing who you truly were and I still loved you after all of it. When Agnes died...you sent your condolences and that was all. After that you sent me a clue that I didn't understand until I came home." She stood up again, outrage filling her body. "No, some one else held me, some one else told me that even though he would never have me, he would make sure I would make it out alive. I looked up to you, worshiped you, and you send your condolences and then stripped me of my title as a soldier. What do you want from me? To live out my life miserable?" Her chest puffed up.

"Why did you fall out of love with me?" It was a curious question, no hurt or betrayal shown on his face.

The past year she had helped him teach himself how to work with only having one arm and some of his paper work. She was part of something again, but she was not happy. She wanted to be by her squad's side, fighting for a chance at life. "I didn't. I still love you, but I also resent you and you break my heart. Especially when you act like I am nothing to you, just like Agnes."

Shock filled his features, but no malice. Maybe he did not realize that is how it came off. "I am sorry. I cannot be the man I used to before I accepted my position. I realize I have lost some of my compassion and my humanity and I am sorry I break your heart. But you realize that it is necessary for me to be distant when I watch those close to be devoured by creatures that have no reason to do so?"

How could she be so clueless? He wasn't heartless...he was just as broken as the rest of them. He just found a different way to handle his grief. "Commander, I apologize. Please forgive me."

He smiled gently and stood, walking towards her and embracing her in hold. "Ingrid, no, Ingie, you have nothing to be sorry for. I am sorry I had to sacrifice things that were not mine to sacrifice and I am sorry I made your love for me crumble, but I will always keep my promise to you and never hurt you." He stepped back and the face of a commanding officer looked back at her. "That is why I am sending you away, under false tenses, but no one will question them. I am sending you back to squad Levi, tonight."

* * *

Jean scanned the tree line, looking for any movement. Ragard was his favorite. She was smart when it came to pranks, but also very kind and comforting. When he lost Marco, she had held him in the barracks and sang him a song her mother sang to her when she was sad. It didn't take away the pain, but the compassion was comforting. He could tell Hange was excited to have back the only person who understood her wacky ways and would have funny conversations with. Eren and Mikasa seemed in different, but he knew Mikasa cared for the girl like a friend. They did chores together.

Sasha was ready to have some one who could cook again.

Captain Levi stood next to him, stoic as ever. Who knew how he felt? Mad, probably. Another drag he had to take care of. But when she was here, he seems more motivated to kill every titan he saw. That and she made a great pot of tea. Maybe he was relieved?

"They should have been here by now." Armin said, worry filling his features. "Should one of us-"

"No, they are on time, they are pulling a wagon. Keep your post." The captain crossed his arms. "Don't be a child."

Armin looked forward, as if the captain did not say anything. Behind Levi, Mikasa kept her eyes on the tree line too. Hange was below them, in the door way with Connie, Eren, and Historia.

"There!" Armin perked up as a figure made it through the tree line. A horse-drawn wagon, full of supplies, with two people upfront. Finally, they were here.

"Yee-haa! You see that short fry?! They brought food and weapons! Good ol' commander!" Hange ran to meet them, but Levi kept his spot as the other's left their spots.

There she was, in one piece. The other must have been another one of her brothers, because as soon as the cart was unloaded and the horse unhitched, he reached down and fondly ruffled Ingrid's hair. Her hair...was long again. He could feel the emotions build up in his chest, but on the outside he remained calm, watching as the squad welcomed their lost member back.

He turned and went down the ladder.

Inside, every one was busy packing the food into barrels and cupboards, Sasha enjoying her own personal bag that Ingrid had brought her.

"You mean you really got married? The day after you got home? That is crazy!" Hange stood next to Ingrid, wide-eyed, her small hand in Hange's slightly larger ones as the older woman inspected the ring. "Is he handsome? Oh, I bet he is rich."

The other's gathered around her, Levi keeping his distance on the outside. She hadn't seen him yet and he wasn't sure if he was ready yet. "Well...um, yes, handsome. He lives modestly in the central walls, but yes, rich." She looked uncomfortable. Eren stepped forward.

"Has he hurt you?"

Levi wanted to know as well. She blushed and shook her head. "No! No, not at all, he is very over protective."

"So you knew him before you were married." Mikasa stated.

Ingrid looked away and the pain on her face was clear. "Yes, I did."

Hange jumped around and grabbed the girl's arm. "What is your new name! I want to hear it! Is it funny? Your name wouldn't go with a lot of other's."

Ingrid looked around the group that had surrounded her. In the corner, she could see the captain and her breath hitched. He was indeed injured, just like Erwin said. But she knew that Levi was very independent and would not need her help because of a shoulder and an eye injury. She met his eyes and his were so intense, locked on to her. She felt a lump form in her throat.

"Ingrid?" She heard Sasha, her voice slightly muffled by the food in her cheeks. "Squad Leader asked you a question."

Suddenly everyone's eyes were once again upon her. Her stomach churned. No one told them? She was their commander's wife. Wouldn't that have made it around the Survey Corps? She didn't understand. Was she a secret?

"Smith. My new name is Smith." She said quietly.

Sasha giggled. "That is the commander's name! Is it his cousin or brother! That is funny!"

Jean scoffed with a grin. "You're related to the commander?"

Ingrid looked at the ground and sighed. "No. It is the commander." She said quietly.

Hange burst out in laughter as the others began to shift nervously. Levi's eyes grew angry and his body rigid. Hange calmed down and put her arm around the girl's slender shoulders. "No more jokes, darling, who is he?"

"She isn't joking you shit for brains." Levi bit out, the rest of the squad turning and looking at him. Hange just simply pursed her lips.

"There is no way sweet, adorable little Ingrid married the commander. We would have heard about that silly!"

Ingrid remained there like a statue of shame. Yes, it was true what Levi had just said and she couldn't stand the looks they were giving her. "I am tired. I am going to bed now." She said, despite the many questions being thrown at her.

* * *

She felt sick to her stomach. Everyone treated her differently now. She was the same person, the same girl who trained with the 104th class and made it out alive. It was still her. Except, no, it wasn't. Her calloused hands turned soft again and was hard lines turned into soft curves again, courtesy of never having to go with out food. And that is why she demanded that her brothers give hefty amounts of food for the cause. It took time to get a carriage to carry it all there, but they managed and now Squad Levi would be well stocked for some time.

She thought they would be thankful, but really, they didn't say anything, just staring at her like some strange and unknown person. She wasn't one of them any more. To make it worse, Levi refused to talk to her, let a lone look at her. Did he feel betrayed? She had told him she was going to get married once she went home. So why was it such a problem now?

They had relocated right before she had arrived to a very spacious and an intact castle that used to belong to her great-great grandfather. It had plenty of space and many hidden rooms were they could have light without any one on the outside knowing. However, there would still be smoke from the chimney. Luckily, her brother had left to see his mistress in these parts and left her here with the rest of the squad, saying that he was staying there. The military police would not look into it unless something suspicious happened. They were safe for now.

The best part was that every one had their own room and tub and it was the first thing Jean pointed out in relief. Sleeping with a bunch of people on the ground all the time was starting to wear thin on some.

When she first got there, Levi made it clear she was not a soldier, but she would not be useless. In fact she would cook all meals for the squad and when told to do so, clean. His squad needed to train and be ready at any moment and it was hard when they were constantly scrubbing dishes. She didn't complain or show any sign of being upset.

She rolled onto her back and looked up at the stone ceiling. Why would he be mad at her? She had warned him. And she had no idea Erwin was the one she was going to marry.

She sighed and rolled onto her side. If she went to his room, would he open the door for her or would she be scolded? She bit her lip. She was a married woman. She couldn't go to another man's room. That was disgraceful.

But she missed him. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just for a chat? She sat up. She knew the trick to the captain's heart.

* * *

Carefully she tapped on the captain's door, both hands full. She prayed that this would work and wouldn't seem inappropriate. What was the harm of seeing an old friend after a year and wanting to have tea?

_The fact that you are in love with him and now married to a different man._ She shook her head as she heard the door creak open. He was dressed down for sleep, but decent. He didn't look happy, surprised, or anything other than his usual annoyed looked.

"I brought tea." She said, smiling and holding out the mugs gently so no tea would spill.

He just kept his glare on her and opened the door wider, reaching out and taking one of the mugs, before closing the door in her face. She stood there bewildered, eyes wide and her heart dropping into her stomach. She looked down and wrapping her fingers gingerly around the remaining cup. The shadow hadn't moved underneath the door. He hadn't moved.

"Levi...I want to see you. Please, can we talk? I just...I just want to talk." She choked a little. "At least give me a chance to explain, please, you deserve an explanation." Part of her hair fell over her shoulder in long auburn waves. "I don't want the others to hear."

There was a pause, as if he was thinking about it. She almost gave up when the door opened again. "In. Now." He nodded his head inside. She quickly moved, just in case he changed his mind.

He was the cleanest man she had ever known and his room was pristine. She grasped the cup tighter and followed him over to a sitting area. He of course got the biggest and most furnished room in the castle. She didn't expect anything less.

He lounged in a chair by the fire-place, leaving her with loveseat that was covered in a jade colored thread. She sat there for a couple of minutes staring at her tea, watching her reflection. She was careful to appear decent, since she was wearing her night-clothes, which was nothing more than a short dress with lace on the bottom. The commander bought it for her birthday.

"You married my commander and you didn't even bother to send a message."

She looked up and sighed, the corners of her mouth turning down. "I know, I am so sorry."

He scoffed and leaned his head back. "Sorry...uh. No, you finally got what you wanted. The man of your dreams."

She sent him a hurt glare and brought her knees closer to her chest, resting the warm mug on her knee cap. "Stop it. I had no idea. I went home and...I just sit there doing nothing."

He was watching her carefully. She knew what he was thinking. "What's it like when he touches you?"

She blushed a deep red and looked at him horrified. "You don't understand."

"Oh, I understand very well." He set his tea down on the small table next him and leaned forward. "So tell me how it feels when he kisses you and how it feels when he fucks you. Who's name do you scream?" His eyes bore into hers.

She shrunk into the couch and looked at him with hurt eyes. What else did she expect? A happy greeting? A kiss and hug and how much they loved each other? Tears fell from her eyes as she struggled off the couch, leaving the tea-cup on the floor. It was a mistake coming to his room. She didn't need to explain anything to him. He wasn't going to hear it any way.

A hand caught hers and turned her abruptly, another holding on to her upper arm. "No, I want to hear it. What is like to be on your back while we run for our lives? What is it like with endless amounts of food and sleeping peacefully at night while we wait for the blades of death to find us."

She covered her face, ashamed. She tried to hold back a sob. She wouldn't cry. "Why are you doing this? I came back and the only thing I wanted was to see you and help you." Her voice was beginning to shake. She looked back up at him defiantly. "And what is it to you what it is like? How do you know that he even touches me? Hm? Almighty Levi, Humanity's strongest, how do you know?" She struggled free and stepped back. "He barely looks at me, if you care to know. And the only name that I yell at night is yours, when I wake up after dreaming you were eaten." She turned and quickly walked toward the door. "I was an idiot to think you would be happy to see me." She slammed the door and ran down the corridor, back to her room.

She was an idiot.

* * *

She ignored him and his stares. She only concentrated on working and working hard. She wanted to be tired so that when she slept, she wouldn't dream and if she didn't dream, she couldn't dream about him.

Now and then the commander would send her a message about her well-being. She would respond she was well. It was a farce. Her whole life was a farce. She stopped conversing with the squad, giving them short answers and not joining their conversations. She desperately wanted to join them when they trained, but she just went deeper into the castle so she couldn't see them.

Armin always tried to get her involved with the squad again, but the way the others looked at her now made her sick to her stomach. Like she was a princess and she had to be carefully handled. Jean even expressed his discomfort at her washing his dishes, because his words were, "The woman the commander holds dear shouldn't be dirtying her hands like that."

After that she retreated to her room, ignoring the apologies and Hange's attempts to draw her out. Mikasa even knocked on her door, asking her if she would be joining them for dinner.

This was worse than being at home.

Ingrid finally got tired of being trapped in her room. It was dark out and she was sure that almost every one was in bed. She would sneak down, clean up the dining hall, fold some laundry, deliver it outside of the rooms, then go back to bed. Yes, that was a good plan.

She knew that being in a castle with a bunch of elite soldiers, she was going to run into some one at some point, so she had to work quickly and remember her training to get her around quietly.

When she snuck around, she indeed found that everyone had gone to their respective rooms and settled down for the night. She curiously wondered, if Mikasa and Eren shared a room. She shivered and rolled up her sleeves. Gross. They were like siblings.

Dishes were hard to do quietly, but she managed to do it efficiently and no one appeared, so she assumed she woke no one. It was when she was delivering the clothing outside of the doors, did she encounter a problem.

She felt over the neatly pressed shirt, remembering the body that usually accompanied it. She would have just folded it and left it with the other clothing, but she knew now the captain felt about creases in his shirts. She kept looking at the door and then back at the shirt. She didn't have a place to hang it outside and she wouldn't dare put it on the floor. She sighed and raised her fist.

At first there was nothing, then the second time she knocked, she was surprised to see Hange open the door who was just as surprised to see her. The woman smiled. "Ingie! I thought you were never coming out! The captain and I were just talking about tomorrow. Would you like to come in?" She stepped back so Ingrid could walk past her.

"Oi, don't invite people into my room, idiot." She heard Levi's voice from inside the room.

She panicked and held out the clothes. "Please hand these to captain Levi. They are freshly ironed, so please do not wrinkle them." She handed them Hange.

Hange's lips thinned and her face became sad as she took the shirt. "Oh, yes, of course." Her face picked up again. "We are having tea, please, just for a minute?"

Ingrid shook her head and sighed. "No, thank you squad leader." She turned before Hange could counter protest.

"That was an order, Smith, get in here. Hange, dismissed." She heard his voice behind her and stopped. She felt her heart accelerate as she turned around. She met his glare with a calm stare.

"In all due respects, sir, I am no longer a soldier, therefore, your orders are not valid and I have no reason to go into your personal quarters for a discussion." She turned around and walked quickly, ignoring the gasp from Hange and the grunt from Levi.

* * *

**I have decided to do chapters after all. Please let me know how you feel about this fanfic. Sorry for any missed mistakes in advanced.**

**-Jane**


	3. To late to be wrong

**Onward we go! Thank you for the support of this story! Please leave a review telling me about your feelings, I can take it.**

* * *

She stared at the letter from Erwin, her heart hanging in a heavy sadness. She never knew her impact on her living with him or even the comfort she brought him from just sitting next to him. She touched the paper and sighed. Why couldn't she just love this one man and let it lie?

_Ingrid,_

_I know you may find it a bit unorthodox of me to be writing you with no objective, but I need the person I can rely on to hear my thoughts. Since you have left, the snow has come and with it cold and lonely nights. I may have taken your company for granted, but I assure you, I was successfully able to iron my own shirt. I thought you would smile at that._

_That is another thing I wonder if I will ever see again or if I have permanently wiped it from your face. I never meant to do so. Levi tells me that you are very melancholy and snappy with the squad. I wonder if it is because of our marriage. I am sorry._

_I dreamed that you were older and had a child with long curls like yours and the look of happiness of your face made me happy. If we ever have children, I hope that they will bring you the happiness I have failed to provide for you. Remember, you are not a piece in this reckless game I play. If I could visit you, I would, but for now, I suppose a letter will do._

_Your niece Emilia requested that I send you a picture of us holding hands. She drew it herself. You were right, a conversation with a small child can make you smile._

_Best regards,_

_Erwin_

And behind the letter was the said picture. Emilia's drawing of them holding hands, but neither of them had a smile. It was amazing what children noticed.

"A child's drawing? What, do you have kids now too?" Connie snatched it from her and looked at it. He then smiled. "Kinda cute."

Ingrid hit him over the head and snatched it away from him. "For your information, dumbass, I have an abundant amount of nieces and nephews. Erwin and I some times take care of one, Emilia." She sighed and remembered the tiny hugs and sloppy kisses. The innocence of a child was refreshing.

"So gross, mushy letters between you and the commander. Ick, I don't want to know what you do behind doors." Jean's face twisted.

Sasha's face also flinched and she shook her head. "It isn't our business and I think that letter is for her only, not us." Mikasa said next to her. "He is our commander, but her husband and we must respect that."

Ingrid almost crumpled the paper in her hands, the anger welling up again. "I almost wish you wouldn't..." She murmured and stuck the letter in her pocket, turning away from the table to continue with her cleaning.

Armin shook his head at Jean, stopping another comment.

"Aw! I bet they are so romantic!" Hange cooed. "The commander, strong and brave, but with you, so vulnerable and sweet." She nudged Ingrid's shoulder.

"That's enough." The captain's voice came from behind them. "We have things to do and so does she. I want the squad on double patrol and keep off the ground. Hide the horses and pack up the supplies. We may have to evacuate this evening."

Ingrid turned to see Levi staring down with his good eye at the paper in his hand. The commander must have sensed or heard something that may have tipped off their location.

"Yes, sir!" The squad responded and moved quickly out of the room.

Ingrid turned her back on the captain, concentrating of the floor she was scrubbing. She didn't want to talk to him and she wasn't sure she had forgiven him for what he had said to her. She had successfully been avoiding him up until now.

"You. We need to talk."

She stopped and sighed. "I don't want to here about how much of a treacherous whore I am today, captain." She continued to scrub the spot. Damn Eren and Jean. If they had taken off their damn boots...

She was suddenly lifted off the floor and face to face with the captain, who had a tight grip on her arm. "I said, we need to talk."

She tried to jerk her arm out of his grip, but with out prevail. She glared at him. "Let me go."

"Not until you listen to me." He looked down right scary at that moment. She felt herself cower slightly. "I wanted to apologize, for the night I mistreated you and I want you to stop acting like some stupid woman." He let go and she stumbled back slightly.

She grabbed her arm and kept her glare at him. "You're not sorry. You wanted to hurt me as much as I hurt you. You wanted to get even. You did, so let it go. And I am a woman, you nit wit."

He crossed his arms and lifted his chin at her. "Shut up. That is not what I am talking about. Erwin may have taken your title as a soldier, but you are still part of this squad and I expect you to act as such."

"Like hell I am part of this squad." She snapped. Her face turned into a hurt expression. "I am not their comrade any more. I am just a woman who is married to their commander and I have to be respected like I am some damn royal. I am not one of them any more."

He shook his head. "What did you expect from them? Erwin is their commander, the ultimate head of this whole corps."

"I thought I was their friend and nothing would change."

Levi's arms dropped and he closed the gap between them. She tensed and hugged herself. She couldn't. She couldn't betray the commander, even with the man she loved the most. "Then you need to be their friend as well." He touched her cheek. "And I need you. Damn what Erwin says, I need some one who can help." His fingers dropped and clenched into a fist at his side. "Take the extra gear and blades and do what I need you to do. I know what he said about protecting you, but I don't think you are a damsel in distress like everyone makes you out to be."

"You're the worst. You always saved me." She touched her cheek, a slight blush spreading over her face.

He smirked slightly. "Because you are pathetic and I know you are stronger than you seem. Now, I want you to finish up this floor and then I want all the rooms primped up. If we have to run, I don't want any clues of what direction we are going. Your gear is waiting for you in my room. If we are not back by sun down, take it and head towards the southern tree line." He turned and walked toward the doorway. He looked back. "Do not die or get caught. I won't be able to fight like I need to." He tapped his bandage.

"Yes, captain."

* * *

If there was anything she hated more than titans, it was washing clothes. Her hands were bright red and raw from scrubbing the stains out of the clothing. She understood the boys and their knee and sleeves getting dirty, but Mikasa's clothes were always covered in blood and dirt and it took her twice as long to scrub them out.

The silence was also terrible. She still heard the birds, a sign that there was nothing a miss out side of the castle walls. The silence also gave her time to think. There were somber thoughts and a couple of times tears sprang to her eyes. She missed Petra. She missed the encouraging words and the way they would tease each other.

She was the only one that accepted that Ingrid wasn't strong, but was willing to do what was ever necessary. The respected each other.

Petra always talked about her father and how her mother had died of a horrible disease. She also told Ingrid that Levi used to be one of those thugs on the streets that robbed people. Petra said she didn't really believe he did that horrible of things, but Ingrid could see it. He was ruthless when he wanted things done or if he wanted information from some one.

Petra was her only friend then. She was friendly with her brother's friends, but they were his, not hers. Reiner was always making slight passes and Berthold occasionally smiled at her kindness. Annie...well, Annie never said anything crass to her. Secretly, she thought Anges and Annie were in love, but when she revealed herself as the Female Titan, Agnes's betrayal was beyond the other's. She could barely talk to him the few days after.

But Petra...her undoubting love and devotion to the captain surpassed any one else's and some times, if Levi ever had feelings for her friend. It would have been almost cruel if he did. Even worst if he didn't.

She looked at the corner and saw her gear sitting patiently for her. It was starting to get dark and she would have to hang the clothes down in the basement, so no one knew they were there.

_Humanity used to fight each other. Then they put their differences aside and battled one singular enemy: the titans. Who is the real enemy any more? Who am I fighting against? Whose side am I on?_

The door slamming open made her spin, still crouching and her fists coming up in a defensive mode. Levi stared down at her with his one good eye and scoffed. "As if you could take me."

Her glare hardened. "You may have apologized, but that doesn't mean I don't want to take off your head." She turned around and continued to scrub the cloth.

He walked past her and plopped down in a chair, sighing loudly. "Is there any tea?"

"There is always tea." She mumbled, still not looking at him. "Where is everyone else?"

She heard the chair scrape across the floor and foot steps. "On patrol. My shoulder began to hurt and Hange said if I didn't come back, she would make a scene. I wasn't in the mood."

"Hm." She continued, grabbing the next article of clothing to be washed. She growled slightly. Underpants...

"Those are mine, for the record."

She dropped them as if they had caught on fire and she turned and sneered at him. "Seriously? You want me to 'accidently' spill shoe polish on your beloved handkerchief?" Her face was beat red and she could feel the pit of her stomach churn.

For a minute he looked amused, then his usual expression came back as he poured himself a cup of tea. He stood there for a couple more seconds before turning around. "What was it that you were thinking about when I walked in? It seemed pretty depressing."

She stopped and let her hands drop into her lap. She didn't want to talk about it. She had never heard him talk about it. Was it time? Would he even be a man for a moment or just the captain who would say his comrades fought bravely and leave it at that? They were people, with families and friends, dreams, and thoughts. They were not just those badges he collected and stored in his possessions.

She bit her lip. What was the point of talking about it? "Nothing."

"You don't cry and look like some one killed your beloved pet and say it is nothing. Fucking brat, come out with it." He went back to the chair and sat down. She noticed a slight limp. He was getting worse...but there was no time for rest, so it was harder to recover from injuries. The whole squad was beginning to suffer.

"It is nothing you, of all people, will want to talk about." She bit bitterly at him. It didn't matter any more...it was the past and he was the captain. He wouldn't let her know how it personally affected him.

"Woman problems? Miss your dear husband?"

She froze and set her jaw. He was still on about that? "No." She stood up and wiped her hands on her pant legs. "He isn't my husband. He is just a man who married me as a _favor _to my brothers and the closest I have ever been to him was in the same bed. He barely looks at me, so shut your damn mouth about it already." She picked up the basket and set it up on a chair. Wet clothes were so heavy.

"You could have wrote me."

She turned and tightened her fists, her face filled with fury. "I told you I was getting married as soon as I left! I told you that if I went home, that is what would happen. I had no idea until I went into my room to get ready who the next day I would be giving my life too! And what if I wrote you? What if I told you? What difference would it make if it was another man?"

His eyebrows rose slightly, but his posture remained lax. "I could kill him then."

She rolled her eyes and picked up the basket of wet clothes. "I have to go hang these up. Just sit there and be pissed off for all I care." She grunted. They were heavy. These were going to take forever.

Suddenly they were tugged out of her arms and she looked down at her empty hands before jerking her head up. "Captain! You are going to make your shoulder worse!" She rushed after him as he turned and walked toward the basement door. She grabbed one-side of it and stopped him. "Here, at least let me take one side."

He made a sound that was almost like a growl and let her carry the other side his bad shoulder was on. With little effort and amazingly great coordination, they were able to make it down the stairs together with out even tripping. In unison, they dropped the basket on the stone floor and made sure all the lines were tight. They didn't speak while they worked. It was almost funny that Levi, a man, could hang clothing in a much better fashion that she could. After a while it was like he was following her around to fix her mistakes.

She stood up on her tip toes to hang a shirt that was ironically Levi's. She was shorter than the rest of the squad and she made Levi seem of normal height. He actually wasn't even that short. Every one was just so unnaturally tall, that is what she told herself anyway.

"You are going to give it wrinkles if you do it like that." His gruff voice came from behind her and she felt his body heat. Two hands placed on hers to show her the right way, taking the clips and in a neat order, hung the shirt. She felt her heart speed up and she began to tremble slightly. His breath was brushing against her cheek and he didn't move back.

His hands took hers and placed them on her chest and abdomen, lacing the fingers together, his embrace tightening around her. She hung her head and took deep breaths. Who did her heart belong to? The man waiting for her back behind walls or the one who held her against him like he was afraid she was going to disappear, like Petra did?

"Does this feel wrong, Ingrid?" His lips brushed against her ear, making her skin prickle with goose flesh and it felt like electric shocks were shooting across her body.

She lifted her head and turned it to look at him. He was so intense and overwhelming. His clean scent was intoxicating and his touch was rough, demanding, but careful. He was so possessive. Whose heart would break if she gave in? Did Erwin want her like Levi did? She was married to Erwin, but...her heart wasn't with him.

"No." She whispered softly as he held her tighter, his face burrowing in her neck. It only felt wrong because of an empty vow. It wasn't enough to hold her down any more.

His hands gently skimmed over her collar bone and up her neck to her cheek. "Then I want you to kiss me."

She felt her chest swell. Yes. This was wrong. But didn't feel like it and she belonged to this man. She belonged to the one who laid his life on the line for her. To the one who made sacrifices to make sure she breathed another day. The one who had kissed away her tears when Agnes was killed.

She brought her hand up and entangled her fingers in his hair and brought him closer to her, closing the gap between their lips. She had missed him and her heart stopped aching as soon as his lips touched hers. This was the man she wanted.

It didn't take long for the kiss to deepen and hands gripping at each others bodies. She tried not to arch and break the kiss between them. She was on fire and his fingers ignited feelings that she had kept locked away and now exploded.

"Levi..." She gasped when he broke away from her, both of them gasping and clinging to each other.

He looked like he was staring at something beautiful and his face was almost in bliss. She had never seen that look before and he wasn't as callous as he tried to be. But he looked to raw and real to her. She was scared of losing that. "You will never belong to him." His lips pressed against her temple. "You're mine, damned the marriage."

She went to turn around and continue with what they had started, but a loud banging noise interrupted them. They both froze and looked up at the door. Some one was upstairs and the multiple voices did not sound like their comrades.

"Shit." Levi hissed and grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the darker part of the room, finding refuge in a dark spot under the stairs.

She fumbled for the knife she kept in her boot and held on to the hilt like it was the only thing keeping her alive. They found them. If they saw her face, they would make the connection to Erwin and everything would fall apart. Levi also unsheathed a small dagger from his belt and remained still as a statue, his eyes plastered upward. He was listening.

"They're going to find us." She whispered nervously. "I suck at hand to hand."

He held a finger to his lips and took her hand with his free hand. "Do not leave my side." He looked at her. "I'll protect you."

She felt guilt come over her. He was always protecting her and keeping her safe. Will she ever be able to take care of herself? The door slammed open above them and Levi's posture tightened even more.

"There were people here! There is laundry up! It's wet too." The footsteps made Ingrid jump slightly, but she prepared herself to defend herself and the captain.

"I want every crack and hole searched in this shit hole, ya hear me? Find them!"

The intruder was at the bottom of the stairs, gun in hand. Ingrid fought to keep herself calm. She could fight. She survived training and the Survey Corps this long, she could fight.

The man turned so fast and she couldn't handle it. If Levi died because she was a failure of a soldier, she would never forgive herself. Her brother died because of her. She moved close to the ground and came around the staircase and jabbed the knife up into the man's sternum, punching his mouth when he went to scream. The man fell and she took the knife from his body and turned and looked up the stair case. No one was there. She looked to her side when she heard movement, relieved to see Levi standing there.

"Now they definitely know we are here." He glared at her.

She felt the adrenaline come down slightly and took deep breaths. "He was going to find us any way. Now he can't."

He raised a brow at her and leaned closer. "I thought you said that you sucked at hand to hand."

"I do." She said quietly as he leaned down and quickly took the gun and some bullets from the body on the ground. He grimaced when his hand got blood on it. She was about to ask if it was necessary, but then she remembered that is how Levi got hurt.

He grabbed her arm and started up the stairs. "I guess we have no choice but to fight out of here. We are trapped rats if we don't move." He moved so quick and if she didn't have any training, she wouldn't have been able to keep up with him.

"What about the squad?" She asked as they reached the top of the stairs, finding no one. Levi yanked her into the hallway and ran towards the kitchen, where her 3dmg was waiting for her.

"Worry about them later." He shouldered open the door, gun up and aimed at any threat to them. Thankfully, the room was clear. "Get your gear on quick. We are going to make a break for it." He went back to the door and stood there, gun up and his eyes burning with rage.

She quickly began to assemble her gear, making sure the gas tank was full. She ran over to Levi and checked his tanks quickly, earning her a glare, but he said nothing. She stood next to him, her blade ready. "If these people made it past the patrols..."

"I said worry about them later." He looked back and made eye contact with her. "Do not leave my side, under any circumstances. Obey me, this once." His voice was pleading, but firm. "These are the military police or the central military police. These are people who are here for the bounty on my head. Who knows what kind of training they have, if any. Regardless, do not let your guard down."

They moved quietly down the hall they had previously came up from and past the basement. She was assuming he wanted to get to the roof, so they could see their surroundings more clearly. She would just have to follow him. The castle was big enough that they should be able to avoid the intruders until they got to the roof.

"Hey!"

Damn, she spoke to soon. She heard a gun shot and debris from the wall spray her. She clenched her teeth and ducked down slightly. Her hair was in the way again. Levi spun on his heels and it the same motion, shot back at the enemy. She slid to a stop and turned just in time to see the man's head explode in half.

She was mortified. They were soldiers of humanity. They fought titans. Not people. Levi didn't even blink and began to run again, jolting her out of her frozen state. She could tell that Levi's leg was bothering him as they ran up a flight of stairs. He was slowing down.

Luckily, they didn't come in contact with any one else and they burst onto the roof top, Levi tossing the gun and pulling out his blades. He turned and looked around. She ran to the other side and ducked down enough where she could see, but not be seen. There were 2 on her side on horses. They also had 3dmg and she felt her blood boil. The military police were handing those out? Or was it like in Levi's younger days when he stole them and used them to rob people?

"Ingrid, how many?" He crouched behind her.

"2, with 3dmg." She said in a low tone.

"Fuck. There are 3 on my side. I believe there is 3 inside, not including the 2 we killed." He hissed and looked at her. "We are going to have to take a chance and move very quick. I know you can. You may not be much for combat, but you can fly like a damn hummingbird." He rested his forehead against hers. "If anything happens-"

She shook her head. "Don't, please."

"Shut up and let me finish." He pressed his cheek to hers. "Don't look back. You keep going and don't stop. Get back to Erwin. Do not let your emotions get the best of you."

She clenched her eyes shut and buried her face into the crook of his neck. She wouldn't loose him. He was too strong and she was fast. They were going to make it. "Same to you captain."

He pulled back from her and nodded to the trees. "On my mark."

She stepped back and readied herself. She hadn't used her gear in such a long time and it was a gamble to use it with out an inspection. She prayed that it would work well and nothing would happen.

"Now." Levi took off, pulling the trigger on his gear. She followed his lead and soon, she was in the air, flying towards the trees. She heard yelling and gunshots, but they missed their mark and her and Levi flew threw the trees. She smiled. She had missed moving like this.

Levi looked back and slight relief slid over his face when he saw her. The voices and gunshots getting fainter. She caught up to him, her hair flowing behind her. "We did it!" She laughed and maneuvered between two trees.

"We aren't out of danger yet, stay on guard!" He snapped at her and picked up speed. She also picked up her speed and the trees became a blur.

Suddenly, one of her triggers didn't release and she heard a strange noise coming from her gear. She gasped as she dropped to the ground. "Levi!" She held out her hand as she descended. She was up to high. She was for sure going to break a bone or worse...

The man looked behind him and his eye widened. She was falling to fast. "Swing from the other wire! Break your fall!" He turned around and sped to her. His words didn't reach her in time, as a blur of red and white fell to the ground, rolling and tumbling in a heap. "Damn it! Ingrid!"

She groaned. She couldn't move. Breathing hurt and she was sure she had twisted her ankle. If that was all, she was lucky really. She rolled onto her side and reached for her swords. That was the only defense she had.

She heard a thud next to her and she was suddenly on her back, Levi over her. "What the hell happened?" He bit at her. Concern was all over his face, but he sounded angry.

"It..." She winced. Even talking hurt. "Faulty trigger..."

She heard her growl. "You have got to be fucking kidding me. What hurts?"

Before she could say anything, a loud bang rang threw the forest and it looked like Levi's chest exploded. She watched in horror as his blood sprayed all over them. He grasped his shoulder and tried not to fall on her. She cried out as he fell on his side, looking at her with fear and anger. Not anger at her.

"No, Levi." She tried to reach him, but he was just a touch to far. She couldn't loose him. Not now. Not ever. "Levi, please."

He tried to reach out to her but she could tell he was loosing consciousness, as was she. As her vision blurred, she heard her and Levi's name being called out and figures flying above them. She felt herself go under as some one picked her up.

_You're too late._

* * *

**Thanks guys for all the follows! I am sorry for the wait. Moving, baby, being sick...bleh, but my husband likes this story, so I don't get to slack to much!**

**I based this story off of the song Mirror by Ellie Goulding. I think it just fits this couple.**

**Anyway, leave a review on how this makes you feel and your predictions ;)**

**-Jane**


	4. Lies

**Thanks a billion times for all the reviews and favorites! To those who asked not to kill Levi, rest assured, he won't die...yet. We are getting down to the serious business now (like we weren't already?)**

**So I read that Levi is like 34 and Erwin is around that same age, which is cool and all, but every one else is like 15-17 years old. I am not against people of certain age gaps hooking up and everything, but there is a limit that I am not comfortable with, so please, if you read this and you have a relationship with a large age gap, I am not judging you or calling you anything. I think I am going to get into more detail about Ingrid. I think it would be a good idea, because I want to do more writing with her and even if it isn't the same story line, the character will remain the same.**

**Name: Ingrid Yvette Ragard-Smith**

**Age: 18**

**Occupation: Survey Corps/Wife**

**Bio: Born into a wealthy family inside of Wall Sina, but very humble. She has long, wavy red hair and fair skin, with green eyes. She is small, but has slight curves. Her twin brother, Agnes, was killed when his legs were eaten by a titan and Ingrid falling onto him after being saved by Levi Ackerman. She had a long time crush on Erwin Smith, but was always planned to be married off for money and political reasons, so did not relay her feelings to him, though they were obvious. She became aware of Levi's affections for her earlier on, but did not reciprocate the feelings because of Erwin and that she would have an arranged marriage. After Agnes's death, she was sent home and to her surprise married to Erwin himself. He stated it was a 'favor' for her brother, when he actually didn't want her to be married to a rapist. She is one of the smaller in her squad and was good friends with Petra, Reiner, and Berthold. She believes that there is still some good in them, even after being revealed as the Armored and Colossal Titans. She feels distant from her squad, not very close to any one them, though since they are kind to her, she is kind to them as well.**

**She usually goes by Ingie or Vettie, the later used by her older brothers. Her mother and father are both deceased and her grandparents are estranged, though the ones who set up the arranged marriages.**

* * *

_"You're beautiful." She felt fingers run through her hair. Hot breath running over the skin of her neck. "You are my everything."_

_She knew that voice...and that touch. She opened her eyes and smiled gently. "Levi."_

_His eyes were soft as he caressed her cheek. "You brat, you slept for a while. You need to leave soon, every one will be getting up and I don't want to hear shitty glasses asking questions."_

_She looked around. They were in that house, right before she left. It was a memory...the last night they had together before she was sent away. "I almost want them to find us." She stretched, her back arching, making their bodies press together intimately. She heard his breath hitch and his grip on her hips tighten._

_"You are asking for something you are not ready for." He whispered into her ear and a hot blush spread over her face._

_She turned her head and looked at him. "I wish..." She stopped and sighed. "I offered."_

_He grunted and rolled off of her, sitting up and scratching the back of his neck. She watched him and slowly sat up herself. "Levi..."_

_"I love you."_

_She blinked and felt her heart flutter. "Wha-"_

_"I'm not repeating it, but that is why I will only kiss you. That doesn't make sense..." He covered his face with his hand._

_She scooted closer to him, pressing her side to his. "If you try and tell me...maybe I will understand."_

_He sighed and let his hand slide down. "I don't want another man to ever have you. I want to, but..." He closed his eyes, as if searching for words. "I would be a bastard if I was to take something that was not mine. When you get married, if he finds out, I don't want to be responsible for what he might do to you. It's bad enough you're infertile, which I don't care about, but who's to say they won't beat you just because? I don't want to add fuel to the fire."_

_She stared at him sadly. It made sense and she was grateful, but sad, very sad. "They can have my body, they can hurt me, call me names, but they will never have my heart like you do."_

_His body relaxed slightly and his shoulders sagged. Was he sad? "And Erwin?" He looked at her, his face neutral._

_She buried her head in her arms. "I will always love him, but love can change. I don't want him like I did before, but he still means a lot to me."_

_"So you promise, then."_

_She looked up at him in confusion, frowning slightly. "Promise?"_

_He turned and pulled her to him, pressing her back into his front, her face burned when she felt something hard. Her heart beat quickened. "I may not be able to have your body, but your heart will always be mine."_

_She reached up and entangled her fingers into his hair. "I swear."_

* * *

She woke up gasping, her head pounding and her thoughts in a daze. Where was she? She was warm and on something soft. And there was a familiar scent.

Erwin.

Her eyes shot open and she looked to see a bloody Hange on her left and Erwin on her right, his hand gripping hers in a death grip. She looked around frantically. No...she was at home. In the basement, where it was dark and cool, but she recognized it. No one but her and Erwin knew it was there.

"Where is Levi?" She asked, trying to sit up. "Hange-"

"Stay down." Hange pushed her gently down and kept her hands on her shoulders. "He's alive, but barely. I got you two over the wall by the skin of my teeth. Erwin met me and carried you back here."

"Where is he?" She gasped, panic filling her features and chest. She had completely ignored Erwin and his grip on her hand.

Hange looked up and nodded to a bed on the other side of the room. "It missed his heart, but he lost so much blood. It also shattered a bone. We were in surgery for hours. He's lucky he's unconscious."

She looked over and saw Levi's body resting on a bed, torch light illuminating his features. He was so pale and sick looking, but his chest was moving up and down. She held back a sob. "My gear...my trigger, it didn't work. I-I fell and he-"

"Shh, Ingie, it's alright, it's not your fault." Erwin kneeled next to the bed. "You did very well."

She shook her head and laid an arm over her eyes to hide her tears. They would think her kind heart was to blame for her sadness, but truly she was scared for Levi. She didn't want to lose him.

"And you are very, very lucky. You only pulled a muscle in your stomach, twisted your ankle, and had a slight concussion. You passed out from the pain, but your body is making an impressive recovery." Hange said, sitting down in a chair next to the bed. "We brought you down here first. We are going to take you up to your room when you get a little better. Everyone was told you fell off a horse while visiting a family member with your brother out in those parts. No witnesses to say other wise." Hange's voice got dark at the end. They killed them all? It was morbid, but she was relieved.

"Hange will be leaving soon. It's too dangerous for her to stay here." Erwin explained. "The rest of them are in hiding outside of the wall. So far, there has been no chatter, other than a group of men haven't returned from the forest. We need to keep it that way."

"What about Le-"

"That is where you come in." Hange smiled wearily. "Sorry to have to do this, but you and the commander, mainly you, will have to take care of him until he can go back outside the wall. We are on stand down until then. We might even have to go into titan territory at this point. We have no choice..." She looked so tired and scared. It made Ingrid's tears flow more.

"Vettie..." Erwin cooed her childhood nickname. She hadn't heard it in so long she didn't know who he was referring to for a moment. "Shhh, this is not your fault." His fingers brushed her hair out of her face. His face hardened slightly. "He should have followed protocol and moved earlier."

He blamed Levi? She stared up at him with wide eyes and shock. "Wha-"

"You were not to fight and they were to move the day before. Hange said that they couldn't find a suitable place, so they didn't move right away, but the squad should have evacuated regardless." His voice was stern and Hange's head hung slightly.

"Commander, if I may." Hange stood up and nervously wrung her hands. "Most of the squad is suffering from exhaustion and injuries that haven't had time to heal. Captain Levi was just trying to keep us down as long as he could so we could be at our best. It's my fault, I sent him back to rest and lead the patrol myself with Mikasa and Jean, but I made a poor evaluation of the situation and perimeters. We could have avoided the whole situation if I thought through my actions as a squad leader." Hange was shaking slightly.

"Please, Erwin." Ingrid reached up and grabbed his hand. "They're exhausted and not in their right mind. No one is to blame. If Levi hadn't had come back, I wouldn't be here with minor injuries."

He stared down at her, his face softening slightly. "I see. I will discuss this with Hange before she leaves and when Levi wakes up, I will also have a discussion with him." His face turned serious again. "Though I am thankful for him saving your life, I need to make some things clear to him and I am surprised he disobeyed orders."

Hange shifted uncomfortably and looked away. Ingrid sighed and looked away. What did the commander expect? Her to be a walking target? Even if it was defective, her 3dmg saved her life.

"I will clean up and leave instructions for the captain's care. Ingrid, please rest a couple of days. You can move to your room, but do not do anything, please. We don't want that muscle getting worse." She smiled wearily and walked out of the room, silently closing the door.

Erwin let out a deep breath and looked back at her. "I am glad you're alright. When Hange scaled the wall with you and Levi, I thought the worst." He took a seat in the chair that Hange had previously occupied.

"Please don't be hard on them. They are barely making it out there as it is. They maybe soldiers, but they're humans too." She pleaded with him. "Levi has an eye injury and a shoulder issue. Plus, I think his leg never really got better. He was limping when he came back from patrols."

Erwin sat there with his calculating expression as usual. He was listening, she knew, but he was very, very angry. Her head pounded and she groaned slightly. She couldn't sleep again. Now that she was awake, she had to stay that way until her concussion was gone. She sighed and pulled the blanket tightly around her. Was the rest of the squad okay? Where were they now? What would happen if they went into titan territory? They could stay in the trees for a while, but their supplies would never last and the gas tanks would empty out in no time. They would be sitting bait. Unless there was an underground safe haven that Erwin had told her off. If not, she knew that they would be killed. The thought pained her heart.

"Did you ever receive my letter?"

She peeked from her cocoon and looked at Erwin, who was leaned forward, his one arm resting on his knee. She didn't like seeing him like this. "Yes, I did. Thank you. I wanted to write you back, but I thought minimal communication would be best."

He looked up at her and his face looked...old. No, tired. Tired and worn. He hadn't shaved and his usually perfectly parted and groomed hair was slightly messy. She liked the look. It made him seem more human to her. "I am so glad you are home."

She stared at him and felt that feeling of anger, sadness, and excitement come over her again. She always felt this way around him, ever since they got married. "Why? So I can mope around the house all day and stay here while my team mates die?" She was bitter, she knew.

His face twisted in emotions, though she wasn't sure which ones. "Mope? Do I really make you that miserable?" He asked earnestly.

She looked away from him and sagged into the bed. She would prefer her own, but she didn't want to leave Levi's side until he woke up. "It's hard to be some one's wife when they don't love you and when some one else holds your affections. I really wanted this, a long time ago, but you weren't the man I thought you were and my loved changed. You are dear to me, commander, but you turned me away for so long I moved on and now I can't have either of you."

"I wish I knew who held your heart. I would steal it back." He chuckled at his slight try at joking and stood up.

She blushed and gripped the blanket. "Why now?" She asked with urgency. "Explain, commander."

He frowned and clenched his right shoulder. He was thinking of what to say, she knew, but the pause infuriated her. He finally looked at her. "I guess I was to much of a moron to see what was being offered to me. When I finally had it, I turned you away. But when you left," He paused again. "I realized that you meant more to me than that little girl who followed me around all those years, trying so hard to grab my attention. You have no idea what kind of impact you have on other's lives."

She felt a sob well in her throat. That wasn't fair. She would still choose Levi, but Erwin, damn it all, was her husband. Marriage had never been a joke or some whim to her like the other girls. It was a commitment. She thought about kissing Levi in the castle basement and felt betrayal pour from her heart. She wanted that kiss, she wanted Levi, but she had Erwin and now, he wanted her?

"Please don't cry. I don't want to make you cry any more." He had sat on the bed and leaned over her and was stroking her face. "I will do everything in my power to make you happy from this day forward."

She didn't say anything. It was cruel. But whose fault was it? Levi's for falling in love with her? Erwin for realizing his feelings to late? Or her for moving on and finding that Levi had always been there for her and his love felt like heaven to her? No, it was all just a big mistake and no one was to blame. They were all just damned souls meant for misery. If she chose Levi, Erwin would lose her and if she chose Erwin, Levi's heart would break and she would live out her days pretending Erwin was him, just to get by. What kind of life was this? Why didn't Levi just let that titan eat her when she hovered over its mouth?

She felt lips on her cheek bones and the smell of aftershave wafted over her. He was kissing her? Her eyes flew open and looked at him in shock as his lips moved to her other cheek and finally her forehead. "Don't go to sleep, Vettie, but get some rest." He cupped her cheek and looked her over one more time before turning away from her and leaving the room. The silence fell heavy on her and her heart began to ache.

She was never going to find happiness in this life, she was sure of it now.

* * *

She didn't want to eat, no matter what Erwin threatened on her. She was upset.

He had moved her from the basement to their bed, despite her protests. She felt like she had left Levi to fend for himself, even though her staying down there didn't make any difference to his recovery, as of now.

Her brother Sergei and one of the younger ones, Maven, were standing there, looking at her with confused stares. Erwin sighed and looked at the two, who shrugged and continued to examine their sister.

"Vettie-" Maven sighed.

"I said that I wanted to stay down there. What if he wakes up and needs help? Who will be down there to help him?" She snapped at the 3 men. Her concussion had made her terribly irritable and she was unpleasant to be around, though Erwin was constantly trying to converse and keep her company. He needed to be giving orders to her squad, in her opinion and she told him so with not such kind words. They barely fazed him.

"We are checking up on him every half hour. He is fine. He woke up just enough today to drink water and broth. He will be fine. That is why we are here." Sergei tried to console his sister.

"What if Avery finds out?" She scowled at them.

Maven sneered at the name. "That piece of pig shit can rot in a gutter, for all I care. You leave it to us, Vettie, just please try to understand. You were in an accident, you fell off a horse, according to everyone else. If some one was to come see you, they very well couldn't go to the basement to visit with out finding the most wanted man by humanity."

He was right, she knew, but that didn't make her feel any better. She had been home for 2 days and she was sick of being in bed. She tried to get up earlier that day, but fell and the sound alerted Erwin. Now he had paper work on the small table in their room and he wouldn't leave her for more than a minute at a time. She sulked and felt the pain in her body over come her. They were right. She needed to calm down.

"I understand." She said quietly.

The 3 men exchanged looks and relief filled the room. At least for now she would be reasonable, but not with out some attitude. She was still terrified that she was going to lose Levi. His injuries were grave and it was a miracle he was still alive.

"Now, Erwin, Ingrid." Sergei took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "We need to speak." Erwin's face darkened and his lips thinned. It was never good when Sergei said those words. Sergei was kind, but honest.

Maven shifted beside him nervously. Maven was only 24 and he was learning the dark secrets of their family and their ties with politics and money. Sergei never wanted his hands in it, but he did it to keep him and his wife and children off the streets. He never had to worry about his children going hungry and that was important to him. Maven was expecting his first child soon and he had learned that you either got your hands dirty or starved. Ingrid felt for her brothers who only did things just so their families could live.

"Avery, Henry, and Williem have been making deals with the military police. I don't know if this includes information on the Survey Corps or if they know about Levi Ackerman, but they cannot be trusted. You have no idea how much money Avery made off this marriage and to ask you to act like you meant to marry each other is ludicrous to me." He looked at Ingrid. "Our grandparents have asked that the Smith name be passed on quickly, since he is the last and his genetics and attributes are, what they say, favorable. Even with him being the head of the Survey Corps, which is under ridicule right now, Erwin Smith is favored among many politicians and merchants. The Garrison Regiment also side with him. If anything were to happen, it would not be to this family. Regardless, they want to see the Smith name among our family tree."

The blood from her face drained and she knew exactly what he meant. It was violating to even hear it and Erwin's face displayed the same feelings. "And if we cannot provide a branch onto this 'tree'?"

Maven looked away from his sister and Sergei shook his head. "Avery has threatened to expose the Survey Corps missions outside of Wall Sina."

Ingrid felt like she was going to faint. When everything was so terrible already...it was her body! Her life! Why the hell did they have a say in what she did with it? _Because the man you love counts on it. You blow it, he dies. _

"I'm sorry Vettie, I really am. And to you too Erwin, this is not easy on either of you I suppose." Sergei hung his head. Ingrid could tell he was worn and emotionally detaching himself. He didn't want to feel the anger and disgust.

"So, they want me to pin their granddaughter to the bed, rape her until she becomes pregnant, and then make her carry a child 9 months and then raise it in this world we live in and under the circumstances I am under? She already has a death warrant on her head for just being my wife! Imagine if she became a mother of my children and they found out she was part of the missions out side of Wall Sina?" Erwin's voice hardly raised unless he was in battle, but his was sharp and angry.

"We don't want this either." Maven turned back around. "I wish...I wish Agnes was the one who had survived so Ingrid didn't have to live like this! This life is worth than death!" He covered his face, trembling at his confession. "How am I to look at my sister and promise I will do my brotherly duties while they demand her pain that I have to enforce?" He shook slightly.

Ingrid spaced out and pretended she could not hear them. She didn't want to hear them. She didn't want to hear Erwin's anger and Maven's torment or the way Sergei tried to remain her brother, but had become the monster that he had feared being. It suddenly became quiet and she knew that they were staring at her. She didn't let any emotions show. She didn't want them to try and comfort her or lie so she would feel better.

She couldn't stand the stares anymore. She looked at Erwin with hard eyes. "Erwin, the fact is, is that I am your wife. I am willing. You are the one who doesn't want me. Just do it when the doctor clears me and we will go from there."

Erwin's anger turned to her. "Absolut-"

"Coward." She spat the word at him, her mouth in a thin, hard line. Her brothers looked at one another and in silent agreement, decided to make their exit. They whispered their goodbyes and quickly left. Erwin stood like a statue, no hurt, anger, or digest on his face. Not even sadness. She didn't break the eye contact kept her face stern.

"Coward." He said softly. "Strange that finally I now hear it. I've always been one." He sat in the chair by her bedside and closed his eyes.

_No, you weren't. This is the first time. _"You know I'm right. Fuck morals at this point." She sighed. "You have better things to work on and when you get to it, you are a man. Men like sex and it relieves stress. It might help you."

He was looking at her with a strange glint in his eyes. Was he still conflicted or did he finally get that he was being to stubborn. "How do you know I like sex or that it will relieve my stress?"

She scoffed and rubbed her face. "I have, had 8 older brothers! They have children! My sister in law's are not afraid to talk about it because they like to embarrass me! What more do you want?" She felt another migraine come on.

"What about the man you love?"

She stopped and clenched her eyes shut. "I told you..." Her heart deflated, thinking about Levi's face when he found out or how he would react. They had both come to the realization that her body would not go to Levi, but that didn't make the sting to their relationship any less painful. "We couldn't, even if you hadn't had married me."

"Fine." His voice was sharp. "But we will do this my way. I have your consent, so perhaps I am being unreasonable. It would be dishonorable if you were a prostitute or another soldier, but, you are right. You are my wife."

"It's not like you are a virgin." She put a pillow over her head and sighed. She wanted to be with Levi. She felt the bed move and she moved the pillow from her face to see what Erwin was up to. He just laid there on his back, looking up at the ceiling above their bed. His face was neutral, but he also looked tired and worn.

"No, I must admit." He raised his brows. "I wonder how you know that."

She rolled on her side and hugged the pillow to her body. "Avery told me about when you graduated from training, he treated you to the brothel in Wall Maria before it fell."

"Why would he tell you that?" He looked confused and disgusted by the fact her brother would tell her those things.

"I told you, every one likes to embarrass me. I am basically immune to those things." She watched his chest rise and fall under his shirt. She wondered how his skin was going to feel against hers.

He turned his head towards her and just looked at her for a moment. She laid there, getting comfortable. She couldn't sleep, so she was assuming he was going to keep her awake with conversation, but she could close her eyes.

"Are you one?"

She opened her eyes. "Hm?"

He blinked slowly and just kept watching her. "Are you a virgin?"

She did blush this time. No one had ever asked. Levi assumed, but that is because he hadn't seen anyone favor her or her acting like she had done otherwise. He was her first kiss after all. She held the pillow tighter and looked away from him. "Yes, I am."

He almost looked disappointed, but she knew he was sad for her. "It is going to hurt." He said softly.

"I know."

He looked back up at the ceiling and closed his eyes, feeling the breeze from the window flow over them. It felt good and the air was sweet. She still loved the way he soaked up his surroundings and she was one of the few to see him like this. She still loved him. "Do you love me, Erwin?"

He smiled, as if waiting for the question. "How long have you been waiting to ask that?"

"Since you told me I was marrying you. I don't believe you did it as a 'favor'."

"No. You are right. I did it because I finally had a chance to have more. Afterwards, I realized it was a selfish and still unobtainable because you will go down with me too when they finally realize they have to kill me." He opened his eyes. "But even in this grotesque world we live in, I still dreamed about having a family of my own."

She felt a knot form in her throat. He needed to know, no, he _had_ to know. She felt her heart pick up pace. No one else but Levi knew her secret. "Erwin..." Her voice trembled and betrayed her.

He frowned and looked at her, recognizing the sadness in her voice. "Ingrid, I promise, I won't let any one hurt you or our children."

She felt the tears well up in her eyes. He rolled on his side and placed a hand on her cheek. "I said I didn't want to see those tears anymore, I meant it. Please."

"There won't be any children." She croaked and looked at him with teary eyes. "I'm sorry."

He stared at her, the look of confusion and concern written all over. She tossed the pillow and pulled herself to his chest, pressing her face into it. Nothing about Erwin was soft, but the smell of him comforted her slightly. "I can't have children."

She listened to him breath and his heart beat. She wanted Levi to wake up, to take her away from here, to destroy all the titans so they could run away. She would do it, but she also wanted Erwin to wrap his arm around her and soothe her agony. She wanted them both.

"Vettie." His voice rumbled in his chest and she felt his arm go around her and pull her closer. She looked up and realized that they were mere inches from each other's faces. His breath rolled over her face like a warm breeze and she felt goose-flesh rise on her arms. Her breasts, covered by a night-gown that was slightly to sheer, betrayed her when her nipples erected against his chest. He had noticed, she knew when he pressed her harder against him. "I can't either."

She blinked, surprised at the confession, but relieved. He knew it would never happen, even though he acted like there was a chance. "My head feels better." Her mouth felt dry. "I can't go to sleep."

She was betraying Levi and it made her heart hurt, but if she didn't, it would ruin everything they had worked so hard for and Erwin's death would be sealed. She saw his eyes darken and his body tensed. He still didn't want to do it. She bit her lip and moved to go back to her side of the bed. A firm arm stopped her and she had little time to response when his lips where on hers. She squeaked in surprise, but quickly wrapped her arms around him. Even with one arm, he was strong.

He pulled away for a moment. "Please tell me I am not raping you. I would throw myself over the wall." His voice was husky and she felt her belly warm slightly.

"I want this." She didn't know if she was lying anymore.

* * *

**Okay! So sorry that took so long and this really is such a weird story. Thank you all for the reviews and follows and favorites! It means so much to me! I am sorry for any mistakes. I had to do this on my phone and damn auto correct. On a side note, I just read chapter 60 of the manga and now I don't know how my story will go with it. I am upset about the whole Erwin thing.**

**Tell me how you feel about this triangle. Who should she pick?**

**-Jane**


	5. You're mine

**You guys are way to awesome. After conversing with my husband, who is a total fan of my fic, he helped me figure out a way to continue with my plans, but saying that, they won't change again because of the manga. I hope that doesn't deter you from continuing reading this fanfic.**

**I want to chat a little (because I like hearing your thoughts and ideas, ect.). I understand that Ingrid sounds like a whiny cry baby, but I guarantee, it won't be that way forever. As for choosing which man she will stay with, I cannot say, though I think I made up my mind.**

**Her and Levi's relationship is complicated, but they do love each other. And to clear up any confusion with her and Erwin, she does still love him like she did before, but she had come to terms he didn't want her until they became married, now her feelings for him are conflicted. She wants her cake and to eat it too, as my husband said. She does love them both.**

**I know, I know. You guys are like, "Jane, that is ridiculous. Cut the crap and dragging on and let her shag up with just one." Oh my sweets, I am not that kind. I like to leave cliff hangers and make you frustrated and make you punch the computer. I just roll like that.**

**If you wonder what fuels my writing: Ellie Goulding/ Catching Fire Sountrack. Soooo gooooood...**

**Anyway, to writing! To warn you, this chap may feel rushed a little bit.**

* * *

She laid in the tangle of sheets, listening to the sounds of the man beside her. His breathing was deep; every now and then a slight snore would come from his mouth. He looked relaxed and content in sleep, but his body was covered in a thin layer of sweat and his hair stuck to his forehead. He didn't look like the same man. She stared at him a little bit longer, before sitting up quietly and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Her body tensed with slight pain and she bit back a groan. He was right, it did hurt.

He finally took her, like she told him too and for some reason, she wanted to cry. It didn't feel wrong being with her husband or enjoying his body as he enjoyed hers. He apparently thought her naked body was a master piece. He was one to talk. Even with one arm, he was quite the lover. _You can't make comparisons. You've only ever been with Erwin. _She hugged herself and looked back to see if she woke Erwin. He was still sound asleep, as usual. He was a bit of a deep sleeper, but he had a 6th sense some times.

She stood and hissed and bit her lip to stop a curse. _Oh, holy Maria_. He could have been more gentle. He actually was extremely gentle, but she was much smaller than him and he could only do so much. She slipped her panties back on and slipped the night gown over her body carefully. She shivered as her memory remembered how fast he had ripped it from her body. It didn't cover that much any way.

She walked over to the vanity and sat down, brushing her hair while staring at herself in the mirror. Who was that woman? She didn't have that sparkle of hope in her eyes and her face wasn't as round any more. She hadn't looked in a mirror since her wedding day. It made sense she didn't recognize herself. She looked away and brushed the knots out of her hair, the task feeling mechanical. She braided her hair to the side and slipped out the door.

She didn't feel anything. She didn't know what she was supposed to feel. She was happy when her and Erwin were together, but as soon as he fell asleep, her heart felt torn and her mind became numb. What did that mean?

She walked to the basement, surprised to see the door open and shadows playing on the wall. She quickened her pace and turned the corner. Standing in the light, struggling to wash himself, was Levi. Her eyes widened and her body moved quickly towards him. She grabbed the cloth, ignoring the fact that it was the 2nd time that day she had seen a naked man. He was sweating and his brows were knitted together in pain. He stopped and looked at her, his hand dropping the cloth and grabbing her hand. She felt herself smile at him with tears streaming down her face. She laughed happily. He was alive and awake!

"Oi, I am filthy. Do me a favor..." He was struggling to stay up. She helped him sit down and grabbed the bucket of water. His bandage needed to be changed as well. She ran around the room, following Hange's instructions and filled a syringe full of pain medication. She ran back to him and began to remove his bandages.

"I thought I lost you..." His voice was soft, exhausted. She held her breath for a moment when she saw the large incision on his shoulder that was stitched tightly up. Hange made them neat, but they looked painful.

"No, you saved me, again." She dabbed medicine on the wound. He gritted his teeth and grunted.

"For fucks sake, that piece of shit got me pretty good." He looked at her as she took the syringe. She whispered an apology and slid the needle under his skin, resulting in more curses. She took another cloth and dabbed his forehead.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could take away the pain." She continued to take care of his wound and began to wash him off. His face began to relax, the pain medication starting to work and the cool water helped with the sweat.

He sighed deeply. "You look like nothing happened to you." He let her wash his chest and stomach. She stayed away from his other parts. He would have to wash those himself.

"I got an concussion, pulled a muscle, and sprained an ankle. I got extremely lucky." She said softly, rinsing the rag. She felt pain in her groin again and she gasped and sat on the floor next to him. "Ah, why?" She leaned forward and held her stomach. How long was this going to last?

He had taken the rag and began to clean himself, but he stopped when she said why. He stared at her with his icy eyes, then they hardened, his fist tightened. She froze and looked at him with wide eyes. He knew.

They made eye contact and her tears came back to her. His body was even more tense and his jaw was set, a dark expression falling over his face. He was angry. She swallowed hard and looked away, leaning even more forward so he couldn't see her face. What had she done? Why did something so wonderful also have to be something so tragic? Why couldn't Levi just have fallen for Petra? Or even better, Mikasa or Sasha?

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked to see him with a somber expression. She sniffed and sighed. "I miss Petra. I would give anything..." She covered her face with one hand. "To have taken her place. Life would be easier, you know?" She laughed dryly and she felt herself go numb again. "Maybe I should have just landed and broke my neck."

"Shut the fuck up." His grip tightened and she heard him grunt in pain. His shoulder must be killing him. "I don't want to think of a world with out you." He let go and she saw him flinch in pain. "I miss Petra too, but even if I was there...I wouldn't have been able to save her. It would have all ended the same."

"I love him, Levi. I love him..." She blubbered and covered her face as she began to sob. "And I love you. Why can't I just let one of you go?"

"Because we won't let you go, simple. He was your dream and I gave you a place to run to. It will never end." He said as he stood, but with a struggle. "Help me put on some clothes and then lay in bed with me. I just want to hold your hand for a while."

She was taken aback by the comment. It was strange to hear him just want to 'hold' her hand. She stood up and found the clean clothing left by her brothers as Levi finished cleaning himself. Even in large amounts of pain and in desperate times, he was still a clean freak. She wondered if he was like that because he lived in the streets for so long that he never wanted to be that dirty again.

She turned back towards him and she found herself staring at him for a moment. He had scars and he was shorter than the average man, but the way he looked at that moment was beautiful. He had a very masculine body despite his small stature. His shoulders where broad and he had defined muscles. He hadn't been able to shave for the past week and his hair was messy. He made her heart flutter and she felt the slight pang of guilt in the back of her mind. She shouldn't be looking.

He had noticed her stare and was staring back at her softly. She looked so...fragile, scared, yet she also had that look as if she was in awe. He took a deep breath and looked away from her, which prompted her to begin dressing him.

The pants and underwear were easy enough, but trying to get his shirt on was harder. They weren't able to find a button up shirt in his size, so she had to slip his arm on his wounded side in first. Once the shirt was on, after many curses spewed by the captain, he was fully dressed. She ran her hands over the shirt to ease out some wrinkles, but also because she just wanted to touch him.

"You promised." He grabbed her chin gently and made her look at him. "You promised me." He whispered against her lips and then pressed them to hers in a chaste kiss.

She smiled sadly and her tears once again returning. "You weren't listening to me earlier, were you?" She asked quietly. "I told you, I love you."

He didn't look like he believed her, but said nothing else as she helped him to the bed and made him comfortable before sliding in next to him, careful of injuries. She laid there silently. Her body was so sore and her mind was so scrambled. Now what? She curled up into the fetal position, her body protesting slightly.

"I like it."

She looked at him in confusion, her eyes heavy with sleep. "Hm?"

"Your hair. I like the braid. You look beautiful." He mumbled and reached for her hand. She met his and laced their fingers together, pulling their hands close to her face. "You look different. You can tell that..." He stopped, his lips thinning.

She clutched his hand tighter and hid her face in their flesh. "I'm sorry." She whispered. She didn't know if it was to Erwin or Levi.

* * *

When she returned to her room, Erwin was up and cleaned up, but back in bed and resting his head against the headboard. He looked at her when she walked in and smiled slightly. "It's 3 in the morning."

She smiled back and nodded. "I couldn't sleep so I went and checked on the captain. He was awake, so I changed his bandages."

Erwin's face became serious. "I see. How is he?"

She walked over to her side of the bed and sat there, her legs crossed together, her hands limp in her lap. "Oh, the usual. He is in a terrible amount of pain though. He had a slight fever when I got down there. No sign of infections."

He hummed in response and sat up straight, pulling one leg up to rest his arm on. "And you? Are you alright?"

She smiled and looked at him, nodding, but she felt her tears fall from her face. She wiped them away quickly and looked away. Why was she crying? "I'm sorry. I don't know why I am crying. It's all I do now, it seems." She looked at him and his face was dreary. She sighed. "Erwin, I don't regret it."

He looked at her with soft eyes and nodded. "But I do."

She felt her heart drop into her stomach and her brows knitted together. "Why? I thought...I was happy...why?" She couldn't put the words together.

"It's not because of you Vettie. I loved every moment being with you. I just regret the pain this is putting you through." He reached for her, but she pulled back, jerking off the bed and onto her feet.

"I don't need or want your pity, Erwin." She looked at him angrily. "I gave myself to you..." She felt slightly violated now. "Because I thought you loved me back. That is what you made me believe."

Erwin stood and walked to her, but she stepped back from him and didn't make eye contact. He stopped and just stood there, looking at her. The silence was terrible and Ingrid wanted to run out of the room, the house, from the walls. She wanted her own life. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you with those words. I just, damn it." He ran his fingers threw his hair. "I just meant that I wish you weren't in love with some one else. I feel as if I am touching something that never belonged to me."

"I always belonged to you!" She pushed his chest, throwing him off guard. "I have loved you since as long as I can remember and you were the reason Agnes and I joined the Survey Corps! I was the one who put you back on your horse when you lost your arm, I was the one who scaled the wall with your unconscious body! I screamed the loudest when I saw..." _When I saw that titan grab you_. "I wanted to be by your side for so long, but you kept pushing me away. He has loved me for a long time and when I came to the realization you would never love me back, I turned to him and he was there for me. He was the one who wiped away my tears when Agnes died, he was the one who made sure I was safe and stayed alive! You just sent your condolences. My brother was killed and all you did was send you condolences. How did you expect me to feel or to do, commander?" He flinched when she said commander.

His face tightened into anger and his strong jaw set. She stood her ground, keeping her body ridged as well. "I have always known that you loved me. I was not unaware of your affections towards me. You are brave. You may not be the strongest soldier I have had under my command, but you were brave and you tried hard. I admire that about you." He closed his eyes. "I wish I could have been there to hold you and tell you how sorry I was about Agnes. I wish I could have been the one who was keeping you safe, but I couldn't. I was here, making sure that the squad was well hidden, in or out of the Capitol. I was _trying _to keep all of you alive. I don't blame you for giving up on me after all these years. My timing was terrible, but you are my wife now and I can't help but feel angry when I think there is another man out there that is more dear to you than I am. It is selfish and cruel, but it makes me angry. I wish I knew who it was so I could tell him that you are not his. You are mine."

She stood there staring at him with wide eyes. What was he saying? He was jealous? Why didn't he just say that before? And why did he wait so long. "Tell me why you married me. I want the truth this time."

He looked at her sheepishly and that surprised her. Erwin Smith was not one for gushy feelings. He shook his head and sighed. "The truth? The truth is," He looked at his hand. "Is that I pushed you away because I didn't want you to go down with me. When I became injured, you tended to me and I thought, 'maybe I could'. They sent me back here and Avery told me that they were marrying you off to some pompous ass and I couldn't allow that. I had a chance with you then. I took it and here we are. The truth is Ingrid, I have been in love with you as long as you have been in love with me, regardless of our age difference."

She looked at her feet, her heart pounding against her chest. The confession should have made her happy, but all it did was make her even more upset. She wished that he had told her sooner. Maybe in that letter he had sent her. But he had to tell her now. "I wish...I could have you both. That's sick, isn't it? "

"I'm not sure anymore."

She swallowed thickly and shook her head. "I don't want to argue any more. I know I am a terrible person, let's leave it at that. Just please stop treating me like I am a weak and helpless person. I did make it to graduation after all."

He smiled and nodded softly. She was tempted to use their new sex life to get information from him, but she shook off the idea. He was way to smart to be bribed or to take threats. She was also very tired.

"In the morning, there better be some damn good coffee. " She muttered.

* * *

**Ok! I know it has been a long time, but I got thrown off track and I based my story to tightly around the manga, so when I wrote the last chapter, I was under the impression they were more on the run than what they really were. So I have to go back and fix what Hange said. Sorry for the confusion. I also have another story, but it is rated M for a reason, so keep that in mind. It is called A Frozen Soul and I do not have a pairing yet. So go over there, read it, and tell me who you think my OC should be paired off with.**

**Oh, FYI, this story may have 3 chapters left and I will make them as long as I can.**

**-Jane**


	6. Gone

**I really need to get my booty on this. I am writing two stories at a time and I keep getting writer's block on this one. I know how I want it to go, but I have to get point A to point B and for some reason, it's just not working for me. So many apologies if the next few chapters seem sloppy.**

**And if you have been wondering what Ingrid looks like, here you go: **** art/SnK-OC-Ingrid-Ragard-Smith-491130707**

* * *

There was no coffee in the morning and there was no Erwin either.

Ingrid sat on the edge of the bed, her hair going in many directions. Levi was going to be leaving soon. He wasn't going to stay down forever.

She stood up, straightening her night-gown. She would put on different clothes, but she really didn't have the wanton too. She then combed her hair to the side and braided it, remembering the compliment Levi gave her. It was also more convenient as it kept her hair out of the way.

She walked to the kitchen, looking for something to cook the captain for breakfast. He was hungry, she was sure. She made coffee and eggs, lightly buttering the toast as she knew he liked it. For some reason, making him breakfast made her very giddy inside. It was like she was making breakfast for her hus-

She sighed. _Way to ruin one's thoughts_.

Erwin's confession didn't bring her any relief. It made her mind foggy and her heart conflicted. She had always dreamed of being by Erwin's side, but now...some times it was easier to be by Levi's. But there was also the fact that her and Erwin had consummated their marriage. She groaned. Men confused her.

Grabbing the tray, she headed towards the basement door, trying to brighten herself up. If Levi saw her expression, he would ask about it. She didn't want a somber morning with him.

When she got close to the room Levi was being held in, she heard voices.

"This will be the rendezvous site and here will be where everything happens. We need to work fast and keep it clean as possible." It was Hange. Ingrid slipped back into the darkness slightly.

"I need to get back in the field immediately." The voice belonged to Levi.

"No one is disagreeing with you, Levi, but the fact is, is that you are severely injured and will be of no use. It is better to stay here and get better. A couple of days can make a difference." Ingrid peeked around the corner, seeing Hange and Erwin talking to the captain on the bed. His face twisted into a frown. "We're not asking you to like it."

The captain looked up and saw Ingrid's head. His mouth twitched down in disapproval. "You're being reckless Erwin. You are not only putting yourself in danger by harboring a refugee, but you are also putting Ingrid and her family's life in danger."

She couldn't see his face, but Ingrid knew that Erwin's expression was not a cheery one. "Yes. Sacrifices-"

"Are you going to be able to live with yourself when they kill her because it tickles their fancy?" This was the first time that she heard Levi get angry with Erwin.

Ingrid didn't want to hear the answer and turned to walk back up the stairs. "Ingrid! What are you doing there! How are you?"

She froze, her blood turning cold. Hange had noticed her and grabbed her shoulders in a side hug. Ingrid smiled sheepishly. "Hello."

"Ah! That smells good." Hange looked like she was going to grab the food from her. Erwin had stood to face them. He didn't seem to pleased by the interruption.

"Um, I didn't know you guys where here so I brought Le-Captain Levi his breakfast and coffee." She shuffled awkwardly in between Hange and Erwin, making it over to Levi's bed side.

"Tch." He crossed his arms, not looking at her. She knew he wasn't mad at her, but it hurt none the less. She smiled and held out the coffee to him. He took it from her, his fingers brushing her's. She ignored it and left the food by the bed. "Thank you. I'm not your captain any more, so no need for the formality."

She nodded quietly and then looked at Erwin. "I'll make you and Hange breakfast too. I thought you were out." She stated before turning to leave. Erwin caught her wrist.

"Don't tire yourself. I already ate and Hange is about to leave. It is best if she isn't seen here." He said softly, grip loose around her wrist. A hot blush spread over her cheeks when he brushed his lips against the back of her hand.

"Erwin."

Ingrid looked to see Levi's seething face on the bed and she suddenly felt the tension rise. She nodded one more time before she raced out of the room, Hange on her trail. Once up the stairs, Ingrid placed a hand on her chest and leaned against the wall. The look on their faces...did Erwin know Levi's feeling and did Levi feel betrayal at seeing the hand kiss? Or was it jealousy?

Hange closed the door and sighed. "I wouldn't mind a quick cup of coffee, if that is alright with you."

She nodded, offering a small smile and leading Hange to the kitchen. Ingrid took a seat at the table after making sure some bread and butter, along with fruit, was in Hange's reach. She wasn't going to let her guest leave hungry. Hange helped herself to the pot of coffee, filling a mug to the brim. She emptied part of it just to move with out spilling.

"Are they fighting?" Ingrid asked in a small voice, feeling guilt and dread.

Hange shrugged, sitting down across from her. "They don't always get a long. Levi is quite jealous of Erwin some times."

Ingrid's head snapped up, looking at the older woman with wide, terrified eyes. "Jealous?"

Hange smiled, but it was a sad one. "Yes. Some of us have privately vowed against romantic relationships because of the turmoil they could cause upon our partners. Now Erwin has a lovely home, with a little wife, and a chance at having a family. I mean, I am jealous of you, but I am not taking it out on you like Levi is on Erwin."

She couldn't make eye contact with the woman, her guilt growing more heavy. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be! We made this choice and I for one, do not regret it. I think not being in a romantic scenario cuts out a lot of stress in my life. I mean, I can't worry about the love of my life being eaten while I am trying to capture a beautiful titan." The look on Hange's face when she said 'beautiful titan' was one she saw on children with their faces plastered to the windows at bakeries. She didn't like that Hange referred to the titans are 'beautiful', but it didn't surprise her.

"I didn't know Levi was that jealous." Ingrid looked out the window, holding back her tears. She had to figure out what she wanted, _who _she wanted, for both their sakes.

"Let's just hope Erwin doesn't catch on."

Ingrid looked up at Hange with wide eyes, her heart jumping into her throat. She knew. How long did she know?

"I better go, like Erwin said, it's not a good idea for me to be hanging about." Hange downed her coffee and stood. Before she walked out the door, she looked back at Ingrid. "Take care of them. They're good men."

* * *

Sleep didn't come easily. Her mind never stopped. Could she really make a decision like that? She mulled over both men, taking in both of their feelings. Despite how things appeared, she did care about how her decision would hurt either men.

Erwin had been her life long dream. He was tall, handsome, extremely intelligent, and devoted to his cause. He was also understanding. According to him, he loved her for a long time. And he was her husband. A man she was bound to through a contract, one he held dear.

Levi was talented, stong, couragous. And he loved her and he wasn't afraid to say it.

_We are never going to let you go_. Levi's words repeated in her head.

_I am a horrible woman. _She sat up, looking at Erwin before slipping out of their bed and room.

If she couldn't have one or the other, she was sure, she didn't deserve either of them. She couldn't avoid Erwin, but she could end her relationships.

_Is this the right thing to do, Agnes? _For some stupid reason, she actually expected an answer. Disappointment set in when she didn't hear one.

Opening Levi's door, she was surprised to see him standing, clothed, and moving around. He turned when she shut the door behind her. He barely acknowledged her.

She looked down at the stone floor, not sure if she could really face him. He wasn't happy to see her, she knew. But she had to...

"I'm leaving." She looked up to see Levi pull a coat on, but not without clenching his teeth. She hurried over and stopped him, afraid he would reopen his wound. He stepped back from her, brushing her off. "I'm fine. Go back to bed."

"You're lying." She grabbed his good arm. He frowned at her. "Levi, I know you're mad at me, but please don't be risking your life, this isn't like you!"

He yanked his arm away from her. "You don't know anything about me."

She stepped back as if he hit her. She felt her frustration hit its breaking point. "Yeah, I know. So get mad at me and storm out because I didn't smack my husband's hand. Be jealous, act like a pompous ass!"

He stared at her with his trade mark expressionless face. He turned away from her again. "You have no idea what it is doing to me, the way you touch him. You made your choice I take it?"

She shook her head, tears rolling down her face. He was sure making it easy though. "I am not having any relations until I do."

"Fine by me." He stood next to her, facing the door. "Have a nice life, Ingrid."

She bit back a sob and turned back towards the door. Maybe the pain in his shoulder was making him feel really irratable. This was so unlike him to be so...childish. "Levi...why are you...what is-"

"I don't agree with it." A voice said behind her.

She turned on her heels, her heart skipping a beat when she say a disheveled Erwin in the door way. Her mouth went dry. "Erwin..."

He smiled tiredly at her, his eyes relaying a sadness. "I figured you would come down here." Her lip quivered as she looked to Levi. He was staring at her, his eyes hard, mouth in a thin line. "I've known for a long time. I wanted you to figure it out for your own sake, so you could have a choice, for once." Erwin stood beside her also looking at Levi. "Though I wish you weren't so sour with her, Levi."

Levi kept looking at Ingrid, his eyes boring holes into her heart. "Levi..."

"Apologies. I will take my leave." He grumbled as he passed them, his jaw set and his movements quick. Ingrid went to reach for him, but he avoided her, quickly leaving the room.

She couldn't put down her hand and the hurt expression she had didn't fade. He was gone. He left her. But wasn't she going to do the same? Shouldn't she be relieved that she didn't have to choose any more? She turned on Erwin. "What did you do?"

He seemed shocked by her accusation. "I didn't do anything."

"Bullshit! Tell me Erwin, what did you do to him? Were you so impatient that you made up my mind for me?" She gripped the front of her dress, trying to suppress her shaking hands. "Now he's gone."

Erwin stood there quietly, allowing her sobs to fill the room. This was not what she wanted. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. "Vettie. He is one of humanity's greatest hopes. He can't be worrying about a woman waiting for him. I'm sorry, but truly, it is for the best."

She raised her head and sent him a glare. "So that is why he was trying to hurt me? Was that why he was acting like that? Because _you _put that into his head? You didn't want me to figure it out for myself, you just wanted to make the decision easier for me. No one deserves to be alone Erwin, _no one_! So stop saying it was for humanity's sake when really you were just jealous!" She turned and ran out the door.

Running was hard. Her feet fumbled over each other as she tried to chase down the raven haired man. "Levi!" Bursting out of the basement, she made her way to the back door. "Levi! Wait!" She shouldered the door and stumbled into the night air. No one was there. "Levi!" She turned around in circles, but she knew he wasn't there. He was gone. She fell to her knees, tears blinding her. "Don't leave me..." She groaned. It was really was she deserved, she thought, but the pain didn't go away. Only more tears fell down her face as she gasped for air. She fell to her knees, her hands covering her face.

He was gone.

* * *

**Arg, kind of disappointed in myself. This isn't very long. I am writing another SnK fanfic and I keep switching back and forth. It is becoming the challenge. I also found I use pronouns a lot...so go me?**

**Leave me a review telling me what you think. I love hearing for you guys, even if it is constructive criticism.**

**-Jane**


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